Hunted

Chapter 6

Friday, October 13th

He - him - he is the most beautiful being that has ever walked upon the face of earth. He is utter perfection and I love him, I love him, I love him.

Monday, October 16th

Cat has developed a habit of wandering out of the house when I'm out. Nearly lost my mind when I couldn't find her today after school ended. I had to go into the forest to find her after sunset, even.

I don't know how she got out of the house; I locked it this morning and the day before, too. Maybe she escaped from the window or something. Dunno what's wrong with her lately; I dunno what's wrong with me lately neither.

Wednesday, October 18th

Xavier, Xavier, Xavier. He is the light of all lights, the star of all stars, the brightest of them all. He is the One, my One and Only; he is Forever, he is the light that shines through the darkness, he is the heart of all hearts. I'm broken without him, without breath and sound and all there ever is in the world. He is the world, my world, the whole entire brilliant, bright world.

Saturday, October 21st

A world without light is the world without him. A world without the very essence of itself is the world without him. I dread my hours awake when I'm alone in the darkness and I embrace my dreams, my love, my life, my love of all lives.

Sunday, October 22nd

I love him. I love him. I love him. I love him.

I love him. 

Monday, October 23rd 

There's a bruise on my neck. I don't know where I got it from. I can't remember where I got it from; I can't remember anything. I don't even know what classes I had today. Hell, I don't even know if I went to school today.

I think I'm going insane. I must be. There aren't any other explanations for myself. I have to be going mad.

Later

I'm not mad; I'm not even close to mad at all! I'm in love! I'm not insane; it's just that I've been missing him so much that I forget everything else. Isn't this what people do when they are in lover? See nothing but the one that they love?

I love him, forever and always.

Forever and always.

Tuesday, October 24th

He is the one that I've waiting for all my life; I love him, forever and always for all of eternity.

Thursday, October 26th

Xavier + Luce = Forever ♡

Friday, October 27th 

I saw Levi today and for a second I couldn't recall his name. For a moment I just couldn't remember what his name was; it was a completely blank, whited-out moment that made me feel empty and hollow inside. Nothing, nothing came to the surface of my mind for a fraction of a second while I stared at his face, waiting for my subconscious to speak up in the back of mind.

It's been happening a lot lately, me forgetting names of people I've known for years and where I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to be doing. Kat told me that I've been spacing out quite a lot whenever I'm talking to her - or rather, she talking to me with Josh standing nearby, hands stuffed in his pockets (they never go anywhere without each other now) - and I did apologize (I think, I don't really remember?), but she looked a bit offended and stormed off with Josh following behind like a lost puppy. To be honest, their relationship is kind of getting on my nerves - Kat hasn't really hanged out with me since they started dating, and Josh is with her everywhere all the freaking time. There's nothing I'm ever looking forward to these days.

Later

But there's still Xavier. There's always been Xavier.

October 28th

Xavier, Xavier Xavier Xavier Xavier Xavier

Xavier, Xavier

Xavier

29th (scrawled)

Xavier Xavier Xavier Xavier Xavier

Xavier, Xavier

Xavier

30th (scribbled, ink bleeding through the pages) 

Xavier Xavier Xavier

Xavier Xavier

Xavier

31st

Xavier, Xavier

Xavier

32nd (pen stabbing holes through layers and layers of paper)

Xavier, Xavier

October 33rd

XAVIER (traced many times, engraved with a knife deeply into the cover)

Oct. 34

35th

LOVE

LOVE

LOVE

LOV- (suddenly cut off, crimson ink blotting onto blurred lines)