Til Death Do Us Part

Chapter 1

Charlotte

Storm clouds brewed in the distance creating a gray palette of colors in the sky. It appeared that it was about to rain in our usual summer paradise of Southern California. I looked out the window and saw cars trying to rush through traffic to get home and evade the oncoming storm. Children were walking around outside happily looking up to the sky waiting for a taste of the rain that so rarely visits. I never was one who was bothered by a few drops of water or a group of gray clouds forming in the sky. In fact, I rather enjoyed it. I remember how I would jump at the sight of rain and run outside to play with my naturalistic friend before he had to leave once again. The smell of the earth after the rain had soaked it was a wonderful scent that I wished to smell once again. If I wasn't in California, Iʻm sure that everyone would rush to go inside and escape the droplets. They would sit with their families and maybe make some hot chocolate and cuddle in their warm blankets while they watched television and enjoyed the company of one another. I wish I was able to be like those people. Iʻd only dream of having a family that I could do that with.

My name is Charlotte Elizabeth Claire. That's actually a mouthful when I say it out loud. I suppose it would make more sense to just call me Charlotte. I'm sorry, but I don't have a nickname for people to call me by. I never had friends that cared enough to give me one. However, my lack of social skills is a completely different story for another time. I'm getting ahead of myself here and I apologize for that. Sometimes my thoughts get stuck together and I am stuck staring at a ball of tangled words and sentences that I cannot unravel easily. The first part of this story is simple. I was adopted. My real parents disappeared on me when I was just a baby. I don't have any memory of my father, but I always have felt a slight connection whenever I thought of my mother. From what I understand, she was impregnated at a very young age and neither she nor my father were ready for a child. My father and her were not married so it is of no surprise to me that he left as soon as he could be rid of my mother and I. Like most women her age, she wanted to keep her child, but it would be very difficult for her to raise both herself and I. I know that deep down, she needed to make the decision to give me up. She didn't abandon me right away, but she didn't also keep me for too long either. She was hardly an adult and I don't blame her for not feeling ready for the thought of a child. I understood that my mom was making the best choice for both of us when she decided it was our time to depart from each other. After a few months, she finally gave in to the idea of moving forward without me in her life.  She left me on the steps of Sisters in Christ Orphanage with hardly anything to remember her by. I don't forgive people easily and I always traced it back to that moment. However, I didn't get to stay with the orphanage for too long. I genuinely wish that I was able to though. I never asked to be adopted.

When I turned the terrible age of two, a family came in looking for a baby girl to adopt. Most of the children at the orphanage were in their toddler years or older. I always wondered if these children were to be adopted and if they would face similar experiences to me. There I go getting lost in my thoughts once again, I can never stay focused on one topic. A key point of this story revolves around this couple so back to them. The second youngest girl in the orphanage was five years of age. I was the only baby that was available on this fateful day. The staff brought me out to the couple and they immediately knew I was "perfect" for them. I barely had to spend more than five minutes with them before they were certain I was what they wanted in their lives. Some paperwork was filled out and the next thing that I knew was I had a new family. I never got the chance to see the orphanage again.

My adopted parents were named Maria and Samuel Claire (I automatically took this name to become mine as well). I came home to them and I realized they already had a baby boy in their family.  His name was Aaron. The Claires took care of me in my first few years, but as I grew up, things changed. They started to yell more at me and made me feel neglected. I felt I was going through my entire life without the support of them. I was only 16 when things started feeling worse than usual. Most people know that being a teenager is hard, but I had it harder than most.

Everything was kind of alright until my father started drinking more and it led to more arguments in the house. My mother was the one who done all the yelling after that. I received threats from her about what would happen if I didn't get my act together, but thankfully she never followed through. To make things worse, I suffered a traumatic loss of someone that I had deeply cared about and who I felt I actually loved. I lost control over everything in my life during that year. I played around with the thought of suicide and I had planned a night to fulfill this thought. I figured I would prepare myself because I had never let a knife touch my skin, let alone stab it. I began to cut and one day my parents finally saw the scars. They took me to a hospital and I had to remain there with the other patients. Looking around the room made me feel scared and even more depressed. All these women in here being locked up like they were in a jail cell. They seemed alone and I felt their pain. I immediately wanted to leave. I already knew I didn't want to spend my life like this.

I began to go under the covers of my hospital bed and began to cry. My new family had abandoned me already just like the old one. I was stuck in this world of sadness. I was glued to this bed of shame and forbidden to return back into the world of light.  This was my new home. This was the place that I was confined to forever. This was only the first day, but I already knew it wouldn't be the last. These four walls were my new home. My new world. My new reality. My new life. I was alone.