Snow: After Allegiant

Chapter 3

I open my front door, walk inside, and throw my jacket in the closet. I walk to the bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror. My eyes are red from crying, and my hands are bleeding from climbing the metal rungs of the ferris wheel. I wash them off, and when I look up, I jolt.

“Hey there, pouty.” Christina smiles at me.

I have no idea how she even got into my apartment, but I don’t really care. I turn around to face her, and she holds out her arms to me. She wraps them around my waist.

“You were climbing again, weren’t you?” she asks. I nod, but I don’t think she notices. Either way, I’m sure she knows where I was.

Four years after, and Christina is the only girl I’ve touched other than Johanna and Evelyn. She’s the only one who has any idea what I’m going through, and I don’t want her sympathy, but she insists on giving it to me anyway. I’d never admit it, but I am grateful for it.

“Why did she have to go?” I ask. I know it’s pointless, that obviously both of us already know the answer, but I can’t help being so pathetic. Christina wraps her arms tighter around me and then wipes a tear from my cheek.

“She did it because it was the right thing to do. She loves you Tobias, you know that. No matter where the two of you are, she will always love you.” Christina smiles at me. “I know today must be so tough for you. It sucks for me, too.”

That’s when I remember what Johanna told me, about our government changing again. I think about the offer she proposed to me. But I don’t want to think about any of that tonight. Tonight is for Tris.

***

Christina and I meet everyone at the Hancock building. Zeke, Amar, George, Cara, and Caleb all stand there, waiting for us.

“There they are,” Zeke grins. He walks over and hugs me. After about ten seconds, he lets go, and we start walking up the stairs.

“Hey Tobias. How are you?” I cringe as soon as I hear his voice. Not now, any time but now. I have enough on my mind as it is, I really don’t want to face him now.

“I’m fine Caleb.” I say it with a venom I didn’t intend to be there, but I can’t help it. Whenever I look at him, or even think about him, all I can see is the hurt in Tris’s eyes whenever she thought of him. All I can remember is how he was just standing there, staring at us, when Cara told us she had died. Died for him.

Thankfully, whatever I did worked, because he doesn’t try to keep the conversation going. I know I should feel bad, but I’m too relieved that I won’t have to talk to him again. It hurts too much.

We reach the top of the building, and Zeke pushes the door to the roof open. A gust of wind flies through and pushes my hair back. I wait for everyone else to go up, then I start climbing the ladder. When I reach the top, I almost stop breathing. The sky is a purplish, blue color. Despite being in a city, there are probably 1,000 stars. The moon is full, and it looks like it’s three times its normal size.