A Teenager's Guide to Screwing Up Life

Step 1: Take the ACT

The ACT is stressing me the fuck out right now. I strongly disagree with standardized testing, and I'm about to take the epitome of standardized tests. You fuck up one thing: no test. It's stressful. I haven't even looked at my calculator because I'm too afraid that it will be wrong and I'll have to by another expensive one, or not use one. More likely, the latter. Also, my family is SUPER broke, so all the devices that have cameras are shit. And, of course, the bitches at the ACT all have gigantic sticks shoved really far up their asses, so it has to be good quality, on a plain background, and all this bullshit. I find it stupid that I have to upload a picture and bring an ID. Like, the picture on my ID matches my face, and the name matches the registration. I know it's supposed to stop people from cheating, but I could just as easily upload a picture of the person I'm getting to take the test for me (which I'm not doing). They could have a fuck ton of people to verify that I am exactly who I say I am and let me take the fucking test. Also, I registered late, and I'm taking the test in 13 days and I have done no preparation. I actually know for a fact that there is something on the ACT that we were never taught and isn't even in our textbooks (presenting, the fantastic educational system!). Luckily, I got the notes from someone who was in a class whose teacher realized that we weren't taught this and decided to teach it to them. Although, now they are behind on the Common Core bullshit. FUCK THE COMMON CORE! My mom works in education reform, so unlike almost every other person who hates Common Core, I actually have a fucking clue about what I'm talking about. Fuck the ACT. I'm just going to go and watch Shameless instead to try and relieve my stress. Tomorrow, I'll get one of my friends to use their comically large and fancy phones to take a picture of me (everyone gets to be embarrassed!) and I'll pick up the official prep book after school. Watch it be thick AF and I won't have time to get through it. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I have a panic attack right in the middle of the test. It's supposed to take 5 hours. Fuck me. Fuck the ACT. Fuck my life. Bye.