I Feel......isolated (On Hold)

Isolation

Isolation.

What does it mean or how do you want to understand it?

Isolation has many definations if you decide to look it up in a dictionary. It is the state of being detached or separated from others or society itself.

The real question is though, why do we feel like this?

Like I said before, isolation has multiple meanings and it also comes in many forms. There are only two types I can talk about freely, since they are from experience.

1. Emotional isolation

It can occur when a person lacks a friend. When I say friend, I don't mean it like an acquaintance or someone you just hang out with to have fun. When I say a friend, I mean it like someone who can be there for you through your hardest times. Someone who you can confide your deepest thoughts to. Someone you have enough faith on to disclose your secrets to. Someone who is there to make you feel elated when you're feeling blue.

Someone you can call family.

I had my share of many friendships throughout my years. Mostly we had each other to have fun or a sense of enjoyment. But slowly the friends I had throughout the years changed. Some started changing schools, while others chose the social hierarchy and I was eventually left alone. I tried to mix in with some other group but no one seemed to tolerate my humor or quirkiness.

Emotional isolation can also occur particularly as a result of infidelity or betrayal of some sort. People these days are lying and backstabbing fucktards. I mean, it is completely a stupid and harsh thing to do.

I have been back stabbed before, when the person I had called my friend started spreading fallacious rumors about me. When I found out, I was shocked, mad and bitter. I probably still am because I have the tendency to hold grudges for a long time.

So, that's why I have major trust issues.

2. Social isolation

It mainly indicates when people avoid social interaction. And if they do interact it is usually limited and really brief.

Introverts, for instance, enjoy spending their time alone or curled up in their room in order to shun away from any sort of communication. It can be staying in their house on weekends or not going out in general.

Being in the state of solitude can sometimes be beneficial, though. Taking time to be alone can be considered healthy if we are in the journey to find ourselves or some shit like that.

But when you experience too much solitude, you may start developing feelings such as loneliness, depression or even social anxiety. This in turn can generate feelings of low self-worth or low self-esteem.

To be frank, I really am not an introvert, it is just that I feel like one. I feel ignored, undermined and inferior towards others. That's why I like staying hunched up in my room on weekends, when other people, extroverts or people who are comfortable around other people, go out to see movies, play games or just do something as simple as (yet tiring, to the point where you want to claw your eyes out), shopping.

Introverts, we don't tend to be rude or weird when people start to socialize with us, it is just that we don't know how. Making new friends is completely and entirely out of our comfort zone, so we are usually ignored.

It's not like we don't try, it's just that people don't take an insight of our socially awkward behaviour or they just don't want to put an effort to understand our 'situation'.

To put it in short: They simply don't care.

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This is not the first chapter, just an insight on the term isolation. Feel free to comment if you think it is depressing in any sort of way because I have a slight hunch that it could be.

Anyway, I hope you liked it and found it some what... helpful?????