My Boys

"You had your maps drawn

You had other plans

To hang your hopes on

Every road they let you down felt so wrong..."

He said it to me late at night, under a chiaroescuro lighting, while I was smoking my fourth cigarette, wrapped in some duvets and with a stained cup of some odd tea in my hands. The toilet paper rolled at my side and many, many pieces of it thrown at the floor indicated, among with my red nose, that I've been crying or sick.

It wasn't everyday Nightwing would show up before me and sing a verse of one of my favourite songs. I just accepted it, as I was very tired, and smiled at the shadowy silhouette, taking a sip of the tea. His voice was strong, but still nice to hear, warm. And he sang well.

"So you found another way

You've got a big heart

The way you see the world

It got you this far

You might have some bruises

And a few of scars

But you know you're gonna be okay

And even though you're scared

You're stronger than you know"

Another voice, deeper and harsh, came out, with the smoke of another brand of cigarette, other than mine. It smelled cheaper, but strangely sweet. Jason's figure was really trying to sing. I mean, if he wasn't, well, smoking, it would help. But it was as beautiful as Dick's.

The man, the voice, the words. I fought the tiny tears at the corners of my eyes and sank both my nose and mouth at the cup. It was the first time I thought it would be an excellent and acceptable proof of my suspected schizophrenia. At least, I could see my boys singing to me. And it was ok.

"If you're lost out where the lights are blinding

Caught in all, the stars are hiding

That's when something wild calls you home, home

If you face the fear that keeps you frozen

Chase the sky into the ocean

That's when something wild calls you home, home"

The delicate, still voice came from a small, but solid frame sat at my side. Drake was all hope and smiling to me, as I smiled back. He took, with slight resistance, a sip of the tea I offered. I think he liked it, but, in all his politeness, he returned the porcelain.

I feel empathy for those boys, those men. They're all my heroes, and even if I don't admit it, my personal type of admiration. I sigh; I can feel their presence, I can feel their support. I'm crying, still, but not from fear anymore.

"Sometimes the past can

Make the ground benneath you feel like a quicksand

You don't have to worry

You reach for my hand

Yeah I know you're gonna be okay

You're gonna be okay

And even if you're scared

You're stronger than you know"

I was expecting the last one; the teenaged and, somehow, both bratty and mature voice. But even though I gulped and had to force myself to do not sob with this verse, which was said, not sang, by Damian Wayne. He groaned and took the cup off of my hands, without a word, lifting me up shortly after.

We're all family, it was what he was saying with his emerald-like eyes, in a clumsy hug. But that was what they all were saying, all the time, even in the words of a song or in silence. And now in a bear-family hug. Dick was the first, then Tim. Jason put off the cigarette and joined the rest of us. Us. It's a strange word for me. It was silent, but, in my head, including the boys, the hug... It was playing the rest of the music.

"If you're lost out where the lights are blinding

Caught in all, the stars are hiding

That's when something wild calls you home, home

If you face the fear that keeps you frozen

Chase the sky into the ocean

That's when something wild calls you home, home

Calls you home

Calls you home

Calls you home

Calls you home

If you're lost out where the lights are blinding

Caught in all, the stars are hiding

That's when something wild calls you home

If you're lost out where the lights are blinding

Caught in all, the stars are hiding

That's when something wild calls you home, home

If you face the fear that keeps you frozen

Chase the sky into the ocean

That's when something wild calls you home, home"

Was it magic? I don't know. Was it mental sickness? Same answer. And honestly, I don't care. I feel safe and rather good now. I have my family. My boys.