Fall Away//phan

Chapter 4

After his last failed attempt with Dan, Phil was feeling quite subdued. He was usually his happy, kind, bubbly self but all he could think about was Dan telling him to fuck off and how he didn't want his help.

"Hello? Earth to Phil?" Pj waved his hand in front of Phil's face and him and Chris laughed as Phil snapped out of his trance. He was looking over at Dan.

Dan was sitting alone as usual. But he didn't mind at all, he liked it. He was perfectly fine listening to music sitting in his chair. But he wasn't doing that this time, he was aware that Phil was watching him.

"You've been upset all week Phil. You haven't been yourself at all." Pj stops laughing and looks at Phil seriously

"No... I'm fine." Phil tries to wave off Pj's comment, still looking over at Dan. Pj notices this and sighs loudly.

"Phil you need to get over Dan. He's horrible. He told you to fuck off! He isn't worth your time, I'm honestly surprised he hasn't left yet to go smoke or drink or so drugs or something yet. Fucking addicted asshole" Pj shakes his head glaring over at Dan who stood up and walked out into the corridor.

Phil looked over at Pj angrily "What the heck Pj?! He heard that!" Pj shrugs.

"What? It's true. He's an addicted asshole, right Chris?" Chris nods, busy with his chocolate bar.

"He has a serious problem Pj! He's depressed and addicted! Does that not make you want to help him at all?!"

Pj shrugs. "I dunno... I mean sucks to be him, but he kinda deserves it for being an asshole to you."

Phil stands up angrily "No! You can't say he deserves this! No one deserves that! No one!" This time Pj is the one left in stunned silence as Phil left to find where Dan went off to.

His first guess was the cat park, but when he checked it there was no sign of Dan.

He walks into to boy's toilets deciding to check there, and hears the sound of crying coming from one of the stalls.

"Dan..? Is that you? It's me, Phil." The crying noises hastily stop and the stall door swings open. So it was Dan in there crying.

He slowly walks out of the stall and leans against the wall looking down at his feet tears still glistening in his eyes.

Phil hesitantly walks up to Dan with sadness in his expression at the sight. "Dan, please talk to me."

I'm dying and trying

More tears roll down Dan's pink cheeks as he wipes them away. "I'm not gonna make it Phil... I feel so hopeless, nothing is ever going to get any better, every day is so fucking hard for me, the only thing keeping me alive anymore is my sisters... But even then they have each other so it's not like I'm needed is it? I'm not gonna make it, I can't. It's too hard I've tried for so long, I still am trying, I'm trying so fucking hard but it's too much for me." more tears roll down his cheeks and he doesn't bother wiping them away.

Phil feels his heart pang, no, break, as he hears those words. How is it that Dan could feel all of that? Phil felt so bad. He wanted to make all the pain vanish but he didn't know how to.

"Dan... I-I'm so sorry you feel that way.." Phil stutters not knowing what to do.

Dan wipes his eyes and looks at Phil. "Yeah, well so am I. Have fun telling this to your stupid friends."

Phil sighs and bites his lip nervously. "No, Dan, I'm not gonna do that. I wont."

Dan raises his eyebrows. "Oh yeah? Well you seemed to have no issue with telling them how much of an 'addicted asshole' I am."