7 Seconds

Chapter 6

I wake up to horrible cramps in my abdomen. I cry out and Ian rushes to my side. He places a hand on my side and one on my leg,bending over to ask what is wrong. Before he speaks a word, he picks his hand off my thigh and stares at it wide eyed. "You're... you're bleeding." It takes a moment to register but when it does, we both stare at each-other in shock. "miscarrying," He mutters. He starts to cry and I clutch my stomach, wailing it pain. He tried to help me up, but I won't move, it hurts to much. Suddenly, he picks me up, bridal style. I whimper and try to fight him. "We have to get you to the toilet. It's still not get too far to just pass on it's own." He finally gets me there, but it takes another hour of my sitting on the toilet, wailing in pain to actually get it out. I though it was never going to end until something heavy slipped out and then it stopped, although I was severely weak. Ian sits against the wall across from me with his hands in his head when I stop whimpering. He slowly looks up, his face drenched with tears and red as the day is long. I am bent over my legs and without thinking I let my head fall over, I am so weak. My head hits the linoleum with a crack that makes me dizzy. I quickly sit back up, relying on the adrenaline I got from my fall I stand all the way up. I try not to look at it as I press the flush button. Nothing. I look at him in shock, but he doesn't have to tell me, there's no more running water. I stare down at the toilet. Amidst all the blood, floating at the very top, I can see the tiny mass of cells that must've been my baby. It looks like a bean, it was just starting to developed features, though I can't see to well because my vision is becoming black around the edges. I don't stop staring at the remains of my child until it all goes black. Somewhere from the realm of unconsciousness I can feel that my body has hit the floor with a sickening thwack. But where I am, I can't seem to find the will to care. I wake up in a different room but I can all by the wallpaper that it is still my house. My entire body hurts and I still feel very weak but my throat is so so dry. I look around, still slightly dizzy and notice a glass of water on the desk beside me. I can see that they drew it from the river not far from here. Probably a good idea, germs don't sit in rivers. Somewhere in my mind I'm hoping that they still boiled it or something, but my body is too thirsty to care. I quickly smell it, just to make sure it doesn't smell... I don't know. Bad? But it smells like water so I drink it. It's hot in here and I'm sticky with sweat so I pull the cover off of me. There's blood on my leg, not enough where it should make me faint again, just a little. Despite that, I do in fact faint again, though I can't seem to wrap my head around why. As I drift in and out of consciousness, I become aware of someone trying to feed me soup, whoever it is has resorted to begging. I don't care. They'll give up soon enough, I think. But they don't. Persistent. They finally wake me up enough to force some down my throat and my body eagerly accepts, I'm starving. But my mind doesn't want it. I don't want it. I want to die with my child. Leave me. I try to say. Let me die. But I can't make the words come out. I'm too weak. I barely get any soup in before I fall back asleep, but I'm too exhausted to feel victorious. I feel only miserable.