another chance 🌹• jb-kj

thirty one: 6 years

Shayra

I woke up without a reason and I knew it was probably too early. My eyes fluttered open as I found myself still wrapped in Justin's arm just how I fell asleep.

I looked up to see Justin awake already and staring at the ceiling blankly.

"Justin?" I said and he was snapped out of his trans and looked down at me.

"Hey, you're up" He said.

"Yeah, and you're lost" I said but he did not laugh at the silly joke and I knew something was wrong.

"Is everything okay?" I asked and he licked his lips.

"Today is Lily's sixth death anniversary" He said.

"Oh..."

"I usually go visit the grave. I want to take Lily too today and tell her the truth about Lily and explain her that she died" He said and I nodded.

"You should do that" I agreed.

"Can you handle work today? I don't feel like going today" He said.

"Of course, you don't have to worry about that. I will also message Marilyn's teacher that she won't be coming today" I said and he nodded.

He then wrapped both his arms around me and pulled me up so he could bury his face in the crook of my neck and just held me.

I sighed and wrapped my arms around him and ran my fingers through his hair.

"It was raining so hard that day..." He mumbled.

His voice was saturated with pain and I could tell how hard it was for him to face this day.

"I was at work, and I got a call from her phone. I expected her to ask me to pick her up but the police answered instead of her. Asked me to come to the spot of accident immediately. I still remember her lying on the road in the pool of her own blood. I've tried so many times to forget it but I just can't..." He said and I felt wetness on my collarbone, he was crying and a strange ache shot across me.

I couldn't tell if it was because I sympathized with him or because every word of his reminded me that the answer to the question I asked him that night is only one.

He still loves her so much, how can I expect him to pick me over someone that's so important to him.

Its strange how the person he loves the most is so unreachable for me and she doesn't even exist anymore. While the person I love the most exists and is right in my arms but just as unattainable as Lily is to Justin.

"Shy?" He snapped me out and I looked back at him.

"Yeah?" 

"Will you come with me? I don't wanna do this alone" He said.

"But work?" I asked.

"Forget that, I'll ask Giselle to handle everything for a day. I really don't think I can deal with this alone this time, especially with Marilyn" He said and I licked my lips and nodded.

"Okay. But its too early right now, go to sleep, I'll wake you up at seven" I said and stroked his cheek with my thumb and he nodded before pressing his ear against my chest, under my collarbone.

I knew just what to do to put him to sleep and I started massaging his scalp with my fingers.

He was fast asleep in a minute.

*****

I walked into Marilyn's room after I showered up and sat at the edge of the bed.

"Mare?" I said and shook her slightly but it didn't affect her at all.