The Wallflower's Bloom

Chapter 14: Gone

Chapter 14: Gone

I woke up and screamed. A terrible scream. Frightened and agonizing pain seeping through me. I cried the loudest I've ever cried. It sounded as if I had just gotten stabbed. When, it felt like I had.

My mom ran in, afraid for the worst. When she saw that I was fine, she became worried about what was really wrong.

"Why are you screaming!?" she asked, almost hyperventilating.

"Dad," I cried, "I saw him! He was here! Mom, we need to get to the hospital. He wants to go. We need to let him die."

I planted my face in my hands, and cried more. "I didn't want him to leave, but mom...he has to. We can't keep him trapped there forever. He's an empty vessel. We need to help him,"

She didn't believe me.

"Mom! We need to help him! I know you want him back, but so do I! I need him to be happy! He will never be happy inside of a useless body! Mom! Help him!" My tears came out like fireworks, ready to explode.

"Jacob, we, how, just, why do you want to kill your father?! What if he recovers!"

"He won't!" I screamed at the top of my lungs lunging my hands downward. "He will only get worse! You need to help him! He told me himself! Please! Just let him die!" I stared deep into her eyes, pleading for her to help me.

"Jacob, why?" she left the room, slamming the door.

I couldn't believe this! After about ten minutes of sitting there, I ran out of the room, down the stairs, and to the living room where I saw my mom crying on the couch. She peeked through her eyes, and spoke.

"We leave tomorrow at 8:00." Her face red with fear.

I wasn't sure whether to be happy or upset. Sure, I had saved my dad, but, I had just killed my mother. Why am I doing this? Can I ever just please both sides, but, this is the way it has to be. He has to go.

...

The next morning, I woke up at 7:00 and woke up the rest of my siblings as long with my parents--no. Parent. We all got ready within half an hour and loaded up to go to the hospital, me not even worrying about any "assignments" I had to complete.

The trip was long and painful. These are the last minutes my father will be alive. It scared me once I realized what we were about to do, we were about to kill my dad. Then again, everyone dies, why does it matter when?

Once we got there, my mom nodded to the clerk and she directed us to Dr. Geren as we walked in for the very last time. We all crowded around him, and I swear I could see a smile on his face.

Everyone was crying on him, and I could see him in that room looking at all of us. It would make him sad, to know how much it hurts all of us.

I didn't cry.

I was ready, I was ready to kill him, but save him. After all, he did deserve this. We all deserve a happy ending, don't we? I hope so, I hope he gets the happy ending he's looking for.

He's dead. He's dead. My father is dead.

That's it, I couldn't hold it back anymore. I let the tears come out. That sound, it hurt inside, it kept ringing inside, reminding me over and over again. Your father is dead, you killed him. I wanted to run and hide. Hide from the world as a whole.

No! I rejected myself, he wanted this! He wanted to be free! He's in the heaven he's always dreamed of and he loves it! I know he is! Jacob, you did the right thing now stop!

I was digging myself, through guilt and pleasure. No matter which is right, he's dead, and it's my fault. The tears kept falling down. I was silent, but exploding inside. I walked over to hug him one last time before they finally pulled the blanket over his face, pronouncing him dead, and filling out the death sheet.

I will never see him again. I felt like I just caught on fire, and nothing can put me out. He's dead because of you. The words repeated and repeated. Nothing would get them out. It wasn't long before I couldn't take it and fell to the floor, face in my knees just crying and crying.

It came on like a waterfall, a never ending cycle of the water pouring and pouring, never stopping, everything else was still and quiet while it's just roaring and falling and falling. That's what I was, I was a waterfall. Nothing could stop me.

"Jacob," my mom concernly answered to my distress, "it's okay, you did the right thing."

I looked up at her as two tears dropped, I quickly hugged her and moaned from the pain.

"Why? Why!?" I whimpered, "Why did you have to die dad!? What did I do wrong!? Why did you die!? Why didn't you come back! You're strong! Why, why!?" I was running out of tears. My cheeks were stiff from them, and I was just a hot mess. None of my other siblings cried as much as me, because they weren't the ones who killed him.

I had killed my father. It was my fault.

The voices in my head were all screaming at the same time, impatient to wait. They all say the same thing, and it's killing me. There's no denying them, it was true. All true! Why must it be true!? Why did I fall towards them?

The voices, the voices, they will never be silent.