Time will know me now

Time will know me now

Chapter one

I am struggling to think clearly. I am stood before the building.

Fear is distorting the image. I want to run; only I have nobody to run to anymore. Although I have seen this building throughout my life I have never felt this way about it. This trepidation, this dizziness every time I try to look straight inside, is all new. It was once a well-kept secret, disguised by its ugliness. People didn't want to look at it, both because of what it was and what it now stands for. These are both ugly. I have been planning my journey to this place for weeks now yet I have not really faced the reality of my peril. If I walk one more step I am a criminal guilty of treason. If I turn back I am still a traitor. I cannot move in either direction. I believed I had made my decision days ago but now as I listen to the voices in my head I am still debating my course. Whichever direction I walk in I must make a sacrifice. My choice is more complex than I ever imagined at first. My motives, principles, fears are in seemingly irresolvable conflict.

I am not afraid of the building: it is too weak to be threatening. The concrete is slowly crumbling away and the metal supports are now clearly visible like broken bones jutting out a frail body. They are rotten and rusty, who knows when they'll snap. It is a bleak day. Either it is darker than normal or my eyes are clouded over with pain. Morphing shadows trick my mind into seeing her face in every fleeting moment of shade.

I wasn't important: I was one of those normal people you see everywhere. I lived a very average life doing very average things but I don't really need to go into detail because they are probably the same things you do and definitely the same things people around you do. I went to school; I used the comvision; I met up with my friends; I listened to music on my mediabank; I did all of those usual things girls do at seventeen.

I was Vita, in one word, unremarkable.

I wasn't famous, there was no reason anyone would know of me. I was mundane. If my life hadn't changed you wouldn't be reading about me now. There'd be nothing to say. Or I’d have nothing interesting at least. To be honest, I was rather fed up with life. To be always doing the same things over and over and over again with so little sense of accomplishment, the purpose simply to distract myself from the fact that there wasn’t one. I wanted an adventure, I wanted a story. Then I joined the protest.

Since that part of my life is so much more interesting, I'm going to miss out my early life and tell you about me when I was nearly eighteen. I will tell you why I'm important.

My life, and indeed most people’s lives, were being turned upside down. Government and society had been completely transformed. In the efforts to heal a devastated country we ended up with a broken world. Although I was only young, I did more than many others because apparently I have a very special type of courage.

This is the story that began when the new government changed our country completely.

For example, we suddenly had more school than we ever used to. We used to be at school from 9:00-3:30, Monday-Friday. They made it 6:30-7:00, every day except Sunday. I didn't know how I was going to cope. In fact, I must confess I did take my frustration and exhaustion out on my mother. Rather than thinking about what she might have had to face in her job, I thought only of my own problems.

After school I was always restless and agitated. My temper would surge out of control at any slight irritation. Especially when my brother was still alive, he always got to me. Then again, I suppose that's always the case with siblings.

We only spent half our day doing normal lessons like the ones we used to, the other half we do labor training. This is where we helped work in the electronics factories so we learned to work hard and also pick up the basic skills most jobs require these days. There aren't as many jobs any more. Taxes have quadrupled in just 3 years. This new government is desperate to pay back debts to other countries and is having a hard time doing it. Beatings have come back into schools to punish the lazy children as the government doesn't think they'll be good for our society if we let them grow up unchallenged. Every measure they take gets more and more ridiculous. All non-essential items are being rationed and the restrictions have become unreasonably tight. We are only allowed one toilet roll a week per family! Poor families have lost everything. Since we had to start paying for education and healthcare they've had to sell nearly everything to afford their medication. As we get poorer and poorer our government gets more and more secure.