Love Cuts

Chapter 1: The Concert

Taking a final glance round my room I exhaled hard through my nose. Rushing to my bed side I clutched my purse, money, tickets and CD for Black Veil Brides to sign. “Here we go” I whispered, I ran through my door and pulled it hard behind me, a crisp *click* sealed it shut. Hurrying downstairs, I scurried to the door, opening it soundly and closing it tight with a turn of my key and dreaded facing the rest of the world. I jumped into my car and turned the ignition; the engine roared and brought a single sense of pride to myself. My car, a present from my long deceased parents. A fancy black sports car, like the one i dreamt of as a child.

~ skipping car journey, it mainly consisted of my crappy singing and some road rage...oopsy ~

I pulled up slowly into a space and once again turned the same key that made the engine roar. Exhaling hard I relieved myself of the cluttered car and potent smell of palm oil and strawberries, something my mom thought would make my car smell a hell of a lot better. But made it smell a hell of a lot worse!

I climbed from my car and slammed the door hard behind me. The car always got me attention, but my mother said it was always my looks that sought the attention. A gang of guys started to stare at me, and I hated being stared at. Why did they have to look at me? I’m not the most interesting person, nor am I remotely attractive!

A few boys whistled at me. It made me feel sick and I felt a lump grow in my throat as their eyes burned my cuts, I hushed my harsh tongue and shot them a hard glare. Their gulp echoed the crumbling walls of the car park. I rolled my eyes and pulled my sleeve tightly over my wrists, holding them firmly in place by my tatty nails.

The cold breeze clutched my shoulders and tainted with my hair, pulling it slightly to the left then majestically to the right, eventually the wind settled with a gentle howl. I stepped forwards and handed over the crinkled ticket, I held tightly between my blood stained fingers.

“shit” I thought rushing my palm back into my sleeve before I drew any more attention to myself. “I forgot to wash my hands” I whispered under my breath. “what’s that?” A deep voice spoke up knocking my wrist as he did so. I whimpered in pain, a long scowl drew on my face but I quickly washed it off and looked at him with a weak smile. “nothing sorry, thank you” I rushed indoors keeping my head knocked down a tad. As I lifted my hair from my eyes and studied the room I gasped slightly.

The room was filled with merch, the black drapes covered in shirts that clipped loosely to the material, the constant opening of the great wooden doors that secured the entrance, swayed the loose items back and forth. I searched evidently for a rest room, anywhere to wash off the evidence of my addiction. And it was an addiction, I couldn’t stop. I loved it; I loved the way the blade glided over my virgin skin, leaving its bloody trail behind like paint on a fresh canvas.

“oooh sorry” A voice squeaked as a girl collided with me. “ouch!” I burst out rubbing my bicep as her shoulder blade smashed into yesterdays gash.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m really sorry” she apologised again. I looked up gently and stared into her fiery red eyes that matched her red hair perfectly.

~

This is how I met her. Her name was Bay and she showed me how to accept myself, we spoke for a while after our meeting. And she took me to the bathroom to wash my hands. She was the first person I had ever told of my addiction, and I felt as though I had known her for years. We spoke about BVB too and queued together for merch. She loved Ashley, and of course I CC.

~

“quick, there’s twenty minutes before the main stage doors open and there’s no queue! We should get to the front now!” Bay whispered in my ear tugging my sleeve slightly, I could feel the weakness in her wrist movements, I think that’s why we connected well. She didn’t judge me; she was careful around my cuts and appreciated me as a person.

I nodded with a huge grin and clutched the hand she held out softly in front of me. We rushed to the front and settled into a slight slouch waiting for the doors to open. We chatted constantly about the boys saying things like “omg what if ...” “and then he ....” “and calls us up on stage and .....” all the things we knew would never happen but couldn’t help fan girl about.

Soon the time came to enter the main stage area and the doors were flung open with great hast, releasing tons of fans into the room. We managed to get front, centre stage. I had hoped CC would see me, i had put war paint all over my arms and neck in the hope i would look as good as them.

The lights flickered on and off rapidly, sending chills down my spine. It had started.