Love Cuts

Chapter 5: Destroying Lives

-CC-

I just wanted to tell her how much i loved her hair, her hands; how they cupped my palm perfectly and its gentle touch like silk on bare skin. I didn’t say it though, it was all to sudden and it would probably freak her out! I watched her sleep, her chest rising and falling with every breath, her honey crawling deep into me and filling my nose with luscious scent. Please remember me, i thought, preparing myself for her to just think of me as this rock star and nothing more

When she awoke i finally got to see her eyes, a beautiful crystal blue, she was just perfect.

 “thought i lost you” i whispered, she pulled away in shock. I didn’t mean to scare her, but this was when i realised, she didn’t remember.

“sorry” i whispered again, my voice slightly croaky. I knocked my head down, slightly embarrassed.

“why are you embarrassed?” she giggled rubbing my hand. “You’re the one thats just seen me on the floor covered in my own........something” She laughed again her cheeks blushing the perfect rosy colour.

“perfect”

“sorry what? I didn’t quite hear you?”

“oh, did i say that out loud” I bit my lip, for crying out loud why did i do things like that! I kicked myself in the shin, it throbbed harshly but i didn’t want to make a fool of myself again.

She laughed and layed back down, staring blankly at the ceiling..

“What’s your name?” I asked, still in awe of her beauty, i knew her name. It warmed my heart like when she first introduced herself 7 years ago.

“Envy” She turned her head to face me “I Dont need to ask yours do i?” A cheeky smile crawled across her face

“perfect” Except this time i mouthed it and she started laughing again. I joined in.

Andy turned to face us “whey shes awake!” the guys turned with him and walked over with huge smiles on their faces, Jake passed her a BVB Bear, the one they spent all this time customizing. She sat cuddling it and playing with its hair, searching through its various black leather items and chains.

-Envy-

Jake passed me a bear with a huge grin, his smile. Never had i thought i would see it in person. Its true what they say you know. Its the most beautiful smile you may ever see!

Anyway, Ashley gave me this very cheeky wink and i got strange butterflies from that, but what i got more butterflies from, was feeling of CC’s eyes constantly on me, he just couldn’t keep his eyes of me the cheeky beggar!

The bear had Andy’s warpaint on, i glanced up at Andy and he had a childish face on him, with a baby grin to show me how proud of it he was, I smiled and gave him a little laugh. They had dressed it perfectly in BVB merch! I loved it!

It was then they interrupted me and i didn’t know then, whether they would ever think of me the same. A song i listened to as a child said it all “Why do all good things come to an end?” Now i know. Things can never be truly “good” without an terrible ending.

They hurried CC out of the room, Jake frowned and followed him out, the others found a need to accompany them and quickly rushed out of the room. I was soon sealed in the room on my own with the bleeping of my heart monitor. I hadn’t realised how loud my heart beat was until i was completely isolated in a bright white room. Alone. But not quite alone, it would be months later until i found out how i hadn’t been through everything completely alone. My eyes burned from the haze of the orange glow that shone down upon my frail body. Come to think of it, all movement was lost. I struggled to move my legs but i struggled to even twitch my toe.

I Curiosity dragged my hand to the sheets, i grasped it hard between my palm and fingers and ripped it away from my pale frame. It floated gently to the floor and landed in a heap on the sterile coal tiles. 

Black. Black. B-

Black Blood. My wounds dripping with black syrup. My legs were dead. Lifeless and hard, a thin grease coated them. Terror filled my eyes and condemmed my soul to believe it was the end.

“CC” I wailed, exhaling into the cool air.

“CC, Oh God CC”

“CC please oh CC i need you” I whispered in the hope he had heard my first cry.

I took a deep breath and screamed. The blood curdling screech filled the hallways and penetrated the walls. The band came rushing through the door. My mouth mimed ‘help’ but i couldn’t bring myself to say anything, i was dead. I was pretty sure of it. The doctor stared at me in a sickening confidence.

Jake shook his head at me and came to my side pulling me close to his chest. I read his ink with great passion. ‘Carolyn’ i though of how my saviours were by my side, where they were supposed to be. Like my angels. He rose his palm to my cheek and cupped it gently. “babe, its ok” I tightened my eyes, i rested my head beneath his chin. Jake brought his lips to my head and kissed it softly. “its oh-k” I opened my eyes slightly and saw a mixture of rage and compassion drive CC’s eyes, the gray of his iris sparkling like fresh dew on grass.

“CC” i whispered, hoping he would feel my need to have him close. CC came to my side and clutched me hard in his arms.

~CC~

I didn’t know whether to tell her what the Doctor had told us. She was clearly distraught and telling her the news would driver her over the edge.My eyes glittered, my heart yearned for her touch. If it was possible to love something barely existant, i was defiantly in love. I eyed her gashes, over and over, i felt her pain. It killed me.

“you should tell her CC” Ashley whispered, placing his hand on my shoulder.

“ i can’t. It will destroy her life” I whispered releasing a single tear.

“CC?” she looked me deep in the eyes with concern. I released a deep exhale.

“i need to tell you something”