Schizophrenia ⇢ Min Yoongi

reconcile.

"I needed you." he whispered. Thoughts clouded her brain.

If he really needed me, why did he leave?  she thought.

Although Rhiannon was confused about the entire situation, she knew that she had to push her thoughts aside and just be with Yoongi right now.

"How are you feeling?" She said warmly, placing her hands over his. "I'm such a fucking loser." Yoongi croaked, covering his face with his hands. Her heart ached for him. "Why can't just be normal like everyone else?"

"Don't say that Yoongi. Look at you. You have achieved so much in the past couple months than any idol I've ever seen.
You refuse to let your illnesses hold you back, nor define you. You've brought color and uniqueness to so many people's lives, including mine.
When you left, everything seemed so dull. You're passion inspires all. I miss waking you up and giving you water with your meds, taking you on our little trips during the day, and listening to music with you before bed. I couldn't bring the same things to you, and you left.
I'm sorry."

Rhiannon had let the words flow out of her like a heavy rainfall. She closed her eyes and took some deep breaths, he wasn't responding, and she knew he had agreed. Yoongi sat up from the bed and shoved off the covers. He walked over to the window and stared at the glass.

"No you're completely wrong. I really do care about you. A lot." He picked at his fingers.

Rhiannon felt irritated, but tried her best to remain calm as she stood up and continued to face the back of him,
"If you cared Yoongi, where were the calls and texts?
Heck, even a letter would've brought me some closure.
Most importantly, where was the goodbye? I tried so hard to give you all the love and care you deserve, yet you couldn't say those two simple words. I have had so many sleepless nights over you. I know you don't care, so you don't need to try to convince yourself that you do. I am clearly only in the way of your success, so I will now leave you the same way you left me, without a goodbye." 

Rhiannon grabbed her things and headed towards the door, feeling more anger than any urge to cry again. It simply wasn't worth the tears anymore. Just as she stepped past the frame of the door he spoke loud and clear,

"Stop."

She halted as he told her to, but refused to turn around.

"Come to my stage tonight. I will prove to you that I care."

"But Yoongi you can't perfo-"

"Yes I can. Just go. Please."

Rhiannon shook her head in disbelief as she walked as quickly as she could back to her car. She knew she had to go.

-

Mnet had arranged a hotel for Rhiannon to stay at for her time in Seoul, and it was not too far from the hospital.
She stuck her key card into the door and waited for the light to turn green, then pushed open the door exhusted. Traffic was horrible, and the stress with Yoongi ate away at her energy. She regretted being so harsh with him, but he really hurt her.

Rhiannon threw her bags down and turned on the dim lamp next to her bed. A note lie on the pillow.

  "327-19 Seogyo-dong, Mapo-gu, Seoul, South Korea   8pm

please. -Yoongi."

She put the note in her purse and went to bed, questioning if she should just go, or if she should leave him the way he left her.

-

Rhiannon woke up at 5am, which was her usual time for awakening for work. Instead of getting upset, she decided to take advantage of the time to explore Seoul in it's most quiet state.

The piercingly cold autumn wind brushed passed her cheeks as she walked through the empty, yet beautifully illuminated city streets. She found a cosy cafe that was surprisingly open at early hours for work goers.

Rhiannon's entire body warmed as she sipped on a steamy hot chocolate. Soft jazz played throughout the small cafe, and she decided it would the perfect time to do something she loves.
Rhiannon pulled out her leather notebook and wrote short poems about anything that caught her eye. Writing poetry always helped her calm down when she was younger and struggled with social anxiety. Eventually, the sun began to rise as more people began to fill up the once lonely sidewalks. She decided to go home and relax in her room for today.

Rhiannon spent her entire day watching her favorite korean movies, her absolute favorite was The Beauty Inside. Before she knew it, the time had been inching close to 8 o'clock. Her stomach twisted with nerves, why couldn't she just go? If she stayed home, she knew she would just wonder what would've happen for the rest of her life. She sighed, slid out of bed, and began getting ready.

-

The cafe was within walking distance from the hotel, and she arrived a couple minutes before the show was to begin.

7:57 pm

Lots of people showed up to the cafe, despite the event being announced extremely last minute. Yoongi repeatedly peered behind the curtain in search for Rhiannon's face, but failed to do so. He paced back in forth.

"What if she just left last night? What if this is all for nothing?" he whispered to himself. The clock struck 8, and Yoongi's manager gave him cue to go on stage.

Rhiannon enjoyed the atmosphere of Cafe Bbang. It was not very big, but it made her feel comfortable. She had done research on it prior to arriving, and she appreciated that it was a "non-judgmental, uber-comfortable place where the arts can breathe freely. Musicians/artists from various genres and new genres together." 

She watched from the back corner as the lights when dark on the stage. Yoongi walked on and began into the microphone,

"I wrote this song for my favorite person in the world. I care for her from the bottom of my heart. This is for my First Love."