Random Thoughts
When you ask me if I’m tired I always reply yes
But I’m not the kind of tired you assume I am
I’m tired of people
Of school
Of home
Of life in general
And I always look back on that day when I’m alone
That day that meant absolutely nothing to you
But meant absolutely everything to me
I tell my parents I have friends but I don’t really
I only have acquaintances
People I like to call hi and bye pals
People who I wouldn’t invite to my house
But I wouldn’t want them to die either
And is it bad that I cringe every time I see an orange sock
Because my orange sock is the one I hide my blades in
I’m not talking about roller blades
I’m talking about little tiny kitchen knives
I use to cut my skin like a scissor cuts paper
I’ve been clean for a month
But that will never change the fact that every time I see an orange sock
I think about it all day long
And when I get home I look in my draw and find my orange sock
I open it up
I think about how great it would feel to slide a blade across my skin
Just one more time I tell myself
But I never do
Cause for some unknown reason I think about you
Not about you caring cause you don’t
But about you
And for some stupid fucking reason
It helps me
