If || rsl & r5 (SLOW UPDATES)

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Charlotte's POV

One half of me wanted to slap Ross or run out of the room and kick him out, but I couldn't bring myself to move. The other half wanted so badly to kiss him again.

However, I just stared blankly at him with widened eyes when he pulled away, biting his lip as he rested his forehead against mine, his hazel orbs searching mine. So many thoughts were rushing through my brain all at once.

"Ross-" I opened my mouth to speak but he placed his finger on my lips, silencing me.

"I miss you so much. I-I had to do that and... I'm not sorry." His voice cracked as he pursed his lips into a thin line.

"Ross, I think you should go. Thanks for bringing Ian, Mel and me back here, but please just leave. You shouldn't have kissed me." I stood up, pacing back and forth as I ran a hand through my hair. I was annoyed at myself because I had promised myself I wouldn't let my guard down again, especially with Ross.

"I can't lose you again." Ross stood up, holding my shoulders to make me stop.

"Do you really think apologizing, explaining everything and then kissing me would solve the problem and we would be a happy family? Well guess what, it won't solve anything! It's fine the way it is without Ian knowing who his father is." I snapped, shaking my head.

I knew I shouldn't have said that because the exactly opposite thing was in mind. Sooner or later, I had to tell Ian who his father was. The worst thing was that I still loved Ross, and maybe I was just trying to fight that feeling but I would never forgive him, no matter how strong my feelings had become for him just now when he kissed me and no matter how much I needed him in my life.

"I know it won't, but I know I can't let you run away from me again. Being with you and then...that night was the best thing that's happened to me and I would do it all again without messing things up this time." Ross gave me a puppy look as his arms looped around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I had no idea what came over me when I placed my hand on his neck, my fingers trailing over his cheek. I felt his breath hit my face as he rubbed his nose against mine and his hand tightened its grip around my waist, pressing me against his chest.

"Ross...don't, please." I immediately felt tears brimming my eyes, the memories of our kisses and his touch flashing through my mind.

"W-why?" I was so close to him, I could feel his breathing slow down and I watched his eyes flutter shut as his lips brushed over mine, softly pecking my own. I knew I couldn't say anything because somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I needed this. We both did.

My stomach was doing flips as the soft pecks turned into a deepened kiss and my hands found their way to his hair. He gently pushed me back towards the bed and hovered over me, his lips never leaving my own as he kissed me with so much passion.

Ross' lips soon latched onto my neck, peppering my skin with small kisses until his phone buzzed. He reluctantly pulled back, quickly apologizing as he reached for his phone and answered the call. Placing my hands on his chest, I slightly pushed him off me without taking my eyes off him and sat up, intensely studying his features - that small stubble, the formed jawline, those hazel orbs and those plump lips.

Once he finished the conversation, he scratched the back of his neck as he put his phone away, "Charlie, I'm so sorry but I-I've got to go. The label just called me and the band in for a meeting...uh can I come over later? I promise it won't take long." He stared at me pleadingly.

I anxiously shook my head, "I don't think that's a good idea... not after what just happened. I need to think it all through."

"Oh. Okay, so how about I come tomorrow or Tuesday and me, you and Ian can go to a theme park? Or the cinema? Or the beach? Or even the park to get some ice cream?" He fired questions at me, his eyes once again searching mine.

I bit my lip, running my fingers through my hair, "Ross I don't know if I want to see you again. I don't want things to be awkward between us and I definitely don't want Ian to notice that."

"Why would things be awkward? We've been together before. Heck, we even made a child and now after kissing me back, you're telling me you don't want things to be awkward?" His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and possibly, frustration.

"Ross, we're not together anymore and me kissing you back... I don't know what it meant, okay? Please, just leave."

He pressed his lips into a thin line as he shook his head, making his way out. I heard the door click and I stood up, going to the living room where Mel was already there with a bowl of popcorn in her lap and a movie about to start. She looked up at me, a worried look covering her face as she wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "What's up?"

"Nothing. Ian's asleep, right?"

"Yeah. He's been asleep since we arrived. Wonder who he gets that from, you or Ross?" Mel chuckled and my eyes widened at the mention of his name "So, what happened between you two? He seemed pretty upset when he left."

"Well, he explained the situation to me with what happened since I hadn't let him speak when we broke up. Then he...kissed me and I ranted, which I'm surprised you didn't hear, and then he kissed me again and we kind of may have made out a bit but then someone called and he had to leave. He said wanted to come tomorrow but I just don't know if I want to see him." I explained the whole situation in as least words I possibly could use simply because talking about Ross kissing me was making my whole body tingle. I had once again let him too close.

"You do want to see him." She gave me a knowing look.

"What?"

"Of course you do want to see him and spend as much time with him because you still love him. I could see the way you looked at him and the way he looked at you. With every chance he got, he'd glance at you so admiringly like you're the most beautiful thing to exist. You tell yourself you can't forgive him but deep down, you know that's the past now. Neither of you can change what happened but since he's leaving soon, you've got to make every second count."

I processed what she had told me and Ross's words replayed through my mind. I can't lose you again.

"I guess you're right."

It's literally just under 2 weeks until I'm meeting R5 and I hope they're gonna keep uploading R5 TVs every day because ngl, their videos give me life and way too many feels