tbh, there's been times i've wanted to die, but there would be the voice of reason to stop me. it's because of my niece, no joke.
once, i was home alone. my family went to go out to eat while i stayed home. it was the year, where my grandpa died and many other problems resurrected from it. i remember thinking to myself, "i can end the pain rn. i can kill myself, and nobody would care." and to me, it was true.
i stopped and recalculated my thoughts. i told myself that if i killed myself now, i'd never see my niece grow up. then i started realizing that my mom would think it was her fault or that my family would be in debt with all the funeral expenses.
without that one thought, i might've not been here today. i'm glad tho, because life has gotten better since that day. it's not a great, but not as bad.
happiness is closer, and i'm glad
