I'm Not Okay (I Promise) [completed]

Chapter 1 • Introduction

Sqaishey's POV

"What's wrong?" Stampy said, annoyed but genuinely worried.

I wanted to give a nice, calm sounding answer, but it was like my depression built a bedrock wall around my 1% of happiness inside.

"Everything is wrong! But nothing you can help me with! You're just a dorky curly haired geek who's trying to be loved! You're a useless boyfriend and it's over! I hate you!" I screamed, sliding off the wooden park bench on to my knees in tears.

I moved myself into a standing position and stumbled away, leaving Stampy struck with today's events. He took me on a lovely date and I treated him like this. I felt bad - deep inside - but my brain told me different ; my brain told me not to listen to my conscience.

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I sat up in bed and instantly reached for my phone. My fingers brushed against the white, fluffy case but didn't pick it up. Something inside me warned me that I shouldn't face anything which may have come through from Stampy.

Last night, I felt depressed. Today however, I feel normal. I regret ending it with Stampy but I can't (as much as I'd love to) just go back to him and expect him to come running back to me.

Stampy's POV (Won't See Much Of This...)

After about 45 minutes I managed to get myself home. Sqaishey is my life. No! She was my life. She doesn't care about me anymore! She dumped me.

I collapsed onto my bed and lay there, shaking with tears. I don't think I'll ever get over this...

Sqaishey's POV

When I eventually picked my phone up 15 minutes later, I was overwhelmed with emotion. Guilt, I guess. Guilt from ending it over something out of my control. Guilt from putting a lovely man in pain. I had 7 new texts from Stampy.

Stamps ❤️: Are you okay?

Stamps ❤️: I need to know you're okay. I know you don't love me anymore, you made it quite obvious, but I won't be at peace until I know you're okay.

Stamps ❤️: I'm getting worried now...

Stamps ❤️: Sqaish! Don't ignore me!

Stamps ❤️: Please!

Stamps ❤️: Ok!

Stamps ❤️: I give up 😭 You obviously don't care about me anymore!

I felt really bad. But he will hate me even more now! It looks like I ignored him for goodness sake! But - somewhere inside - I found the courage to reply.

Sqaish 👑: Yes I'm okay. I'm sorry, I really am. But it's clear we're never going to be together again. Goodbye Stamps...

Stamps ❤️: Well you replied at least... eventually.

Stamps ❤️: And you're right. We're never going to be together again. You hurt me and nothing can fix that...

Stamps ❤️: Goodbye Sqaish...

I felt even worse after he replied. But he has a point. I did hurt him. He loved me and I took advantage of that...