The light outside of the little cellar blinds Jordan's eyes, and in a reflex she lifts her arm to shield her eyes. Even the littlest movement of raising her arm results into a throbbing. The damage done is more than she realises, and it won't surprise her if she can add another bruise to the list. Damon stares at Jordan, "Are you insane? You can barely walk, what makes you think you'll be able to handle those vampires?"
Jordan grins back, knowing she has won the argument before it even starts, "So, you're just going to let me get back to the car. On my own?"
The grip on Jordan's arm tightens a bit, and she knows he's angry with her. "Why do you want to fight them so badly anyways?" he asks.
Jordan doesn't reply. He wouldn't understand. Why there is this drive that is pushing her forward. The only thing that is pushing her forward. If she stops, she's afraid of never getting up again. Damon doesn't need to know that.
"Whatever." Damon presses his teeth hard against one another. "Just stay behind me. Promise me you'll stay behind me."
With his intense gaze fixed on her, Jordan can only nod.
Jordan slips her hand into the one of Damon for support. The electricity that sparks throughout her arm is almost enough to make her lose her head, and she wonders whether Damon feels the same way.
For the first time, Damon looks at Jordan with a look in his eyes she can't explain. She doesn't know if that is good or bad, so to reassure him — and mainly herself — a soft smile grazes her features. Questions of desire and need and loving hang in the air, but neither of the two act upon it.
Damon takes the lead. A stake hovers in front of his chest, ready to use when necessary. With his right hand he holds onto Jordan and tucks her with him into the kitchen. With his back turned towards them, a vampire is minding his own business. Suddenly, the idea of coming with doesn't seem so appealing to Jordan. Her insides are on fire and a sizzling scream rips through her brain. She almost hunches over in pain, but as Damon casts her a worrying glance she urges her pain to subdue.
What's happening to me?
Damon slips his hand out of Jordan's, and soundlessly stakes the vampire through his heart, giving him no change to even consider running away. Jordan's eyes widen, but one look of Damon silences her.
They had no choice, she knows that. But it still hurts her to see him, a vampire whose name she doesn't even know, fall to the ground. He might've not even done something wrong, but ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Wait here, Damon mouths.
Most of the time Jordan would've argued, but the fire is still sizzling and it's draining her of all her energy. As Damon advances further into the house, Jordan leans against the doorpost. Her eyes fall onto the forest outside, and she can hear her mother's voice ringing in her ear: Remember who you are, dear, and know that your 'weaknesses' are your greatest strength. Don't let them overpower you.
Jordan closes her eyes. Her mum is right, of course, but that doesn't take away the fact that it is so incredible hard. To stay true to yourself when everything around you is telling you to change. And Jordan is afraid, so damn afraid, that in her fight to stay true to herself, she's going to lose herself altogether. She sinks her teeth into her lower lip to keep it from trembling.
A deep breath in and a deep breath out do not settle Jordan's nerves, but it is the closest she feels to being in control. The house has been quiet for too long now, and Jordan fears Damon might be in trouble. Not that she would be any help, but it is the thought that counts.
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dance with the devil ✧ DAMON SALVATORE
Fanfiction"TELL ME, WHY IS IT THAT SOMETHING SO BEAUTIFUL CAN BE SO BROKEN?" [season one of the vampire diaries]