AUDREY
Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mararamdaman ko matapos kong mabasa ang apat na pirasong papel na nasa damitan ni Callum.
I was packing his things when I saw it.
Until I realized, I was in tears.
"Mommy?" Agad kong pinunasan ang mga luha na nasa mata ko nang marinig si Arthur. I can't let my son see me like this, hindi makakatulong sa kanya. "I want to give you something"
He handed me sheet. A music sheet with lyrics and chords written on it.
"Dr.Daddy and I did it for you" He smiled and sat on my lap. I didn't know how I managed to contain my tears lalo na ng mabasa ko ang unang mga salita na nakasulat doon.
"W-who wrote this?" I asked.
"Me and Dr.Daddy!" He exclaimed. "He helped me to find the right words to say, Mommy" I stroked his hair and kissed his temples.
Akala ko tapos na sa mga sulat ni Callum ang gusto niyang sabihin sa akin pero hindi pa pala.
"Do you want to hear it, Mommy?" Arthur asked. "Kaya lang, hindi pa po ako marunong magplay masyado ng guitar. Let's wait for Dr.Daddy?"
Niyakap ko si Arthur. I know he deserve to know the truth but how could I tell it to him when I, myself still couldn't believe that .. he's gone.
"Okay, let me hear it" Tumayo si Arthur sa harapan ko at ngumiti.
At his young age, he could already read and write. I'm so proud of him.
"Mommy this is for you.."
I'M SO SORRY, MOM
When the day I saw you cry
I want to blame myself
for hurting you inside
I don't want to see you cry,
can you stop it now?
I would wipe those tears away
But please help yourself
to forget what I did
I'm so sorry mom,
can you forgive me now?
I want to thank you for all
the things that
You have done for me
But I'm sorry I can't be
somebody who is not me
Can you please accept the truth
that this is who I am
Can you forgive me for all
the things that I have done?
I'm so sorry Mom
I will make you proud someday
Just give me another chance
and I'll prove what I've said
I'm so sorry Mom
Oh I love you Mom
"We love you, Mommy!" Arthur jumped at me and hugged me tight. Now I can't contain my tears anymore.
No, Arthur..it should have been the other way around.
I'm sorry, Arthur for blaming you for what happened to me.
I'm sorry, anak for making you feel that it was your fault.
I'm sorry if I wanted you to be somebody you're not.
I'm sorry if I didn't accept you sooner
Wala kang kasalanan, anak..
"Baby, look at Mommy" I cupped his small face. "Wala kang kasalanan sa mga nangyari"
"I know, Mommy" he answered "Dr.Daddy told me that it was his fault" Arthur cupped my face and wiped my tears away.
Oh, Callum..
"W-what else did he say?"
"He was sorry, too. And that was our song for you!" He smiled like the song is so light.
"He also said that I should take care of you when he's not around and I will, Mommy." I hugged my son once again. "Dr.Daddy loves us so much, Mommy"
"I know, Baby. I know" I sobbed.
Callum, I don't know if you could still hear this but I just want you to know. Amidst all the pain that you have caused me, I forgive you.
Sinira mo man ang buhay ko noon pero hindi ko maitatanggi na ikaw din ang bumuo nito.
You gave me Arthur and our soon to be baby. Yes, Callum. Buntis ako and this baby is made of love. Our love.
Thank you for being part of my life, for saving me in the darkness and letting me see the beauty from pain.
I love you, Callum.
