Lasagna Land (A Newsboys [Puns-Intended {Cheesy}] Fanfic)

1.5 Take Me To Your Meaty Good Leader

"How are we ever gonna find Phil? Or the Fox?" John worried. He and the Americans had caught the tail end of the short tale, and were now even more worried for Phil's safety. Boris, taking advantage of John's gesturing, hopped over from Duncan's hand to the palm of John's. He almost tripped in the landing, and if he had, he would've started to somersault uncontrollably. That's what happens when you're a sphere, folks.

The meatball rose to his spindly legs and stood proudly, trying to puff out the chest he didn't have.

"I know how we can find Phil and the Fox!" He declared.

"Wha- Boris, you're a lifesaver," Pete thanked, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Only if he tells us what to do," Jody acknowledged. Boris gave him a sarcastic glare in return.

"Sir Peter, do you still have the map?"

"Of course. Lemme just dig it outta here..."

Pete unzipped his bag and thoroughly scrambled the contents until at last he emerged triumphant with the Italian-labeled topography. He unrolled it, Jeff grabbing the other end, and they stretched it out like a long-furled, dusty flag newly seeing the light of day.

Boris motioned for John to bring him closer. The Aussie obliged, and Boris began to read the lettering. He nodded to himself, quietly musing under his breath. Occasionally, he'd scribble with his finger on the palm of his hand, like a kid in a spelling bee.

The boys intently watched their meaty good leader as he went about his planning. Boris was now not only pacing, but actually walking the trails of the map. After a few wrong turns, he looked back up and revealed the plan.

"Okay, so first we've gotta cross the Marinara Trench, then we have to go through the Fettuccine Forest. And then, we're at the gates of Stauffer City!

Peter took a breath, biting back his worried words.

"And how is that gonna get us ta Phil?"

"Well, you see, the Fox's den is right outside the gates of Stauffer City. So well simply retrieve Sir Philip on our way in." Boris explained as though it were common sense.

"But how do we get past the Fox?" Duncan interrupted.

"We... uh... we will... figure that out!" The meatball said with as much confidence as ever.

"So you mean to tell me you have no idea how to save Phil?" Jody asked in a sarcastic, almost bored tone. Boris shook his head-body no.

"Alright, let's go. You lead, Boris."