- the white stargazer -

0.2

"I miss you."

"Come on Paige, you literally saw me an hour ago."

"I know, it's tearing my heart."

The first day of school was nothing extraordinary. We basically just got our books and introductions to our classes. And we didn't experience a "walking-through-the-hallways-like-the-bloody-plastics"-moment either. Shame.

I roll my eyes, putting her on the speaker to pull my hair back. "Such a drama queen."

"Born and raised. So, what are you up to?"

"Nothing. I have some YouTube to catch up on."

"Shane Dawson?" 

"You know it", I chuckle, bringing my phone over to my bed. 

"Alright honeybun, gotta go, duty calls."

"Don't call me again", I warn before I hang up.

Sighing, I open my MacBook and my eyes get stuck on my desktop background. It's a picture of me, Paige and Gabriel. We took it on Gabriel's birthday, when me and Paige surprised him with a cake, party hats and helium balloons. He's in the middle, smiling so wide you'd think his mouth would break. A party hat is placed on his head, his hair slightly covering his right eye as usual. His arms are placed over mine and Paige's shoulders. We couldn't have been happier. 

I click on the Safari ikon and make my way to YouTube. A minute into Shane's video on another conspiracy theory, the front door opens. Pausing the video, I stay quiet and listens for my mother's voice.

"Esther? I'm home!"

Smiling slightly, I call back. "Hi mom!"

I start the video again and continue watching. As he speaks my mind goes on vacation. All I think about is what he's saying. It's really nice to get a timeout from the constant burning thoughts of my best friend in a casket. Eventually it wears you out, feeling like a piece is missing and not being able to do anything about it. 

While watching the video, I notice movement in the corner of my eye. Someone walking past my room out in the hallway. Looking over, I see nothing. The paranoia is seriously getting to me, damn you Shane.

"Mom? You up here?", I ask. 

No answer.

I paus the video and walk out of my room. Turning my head, I look from left to right but there's nothing. I walk over to the stairs and walk a few steps down to be able to see into the living room, where my mom's sitting. 

"Were you just up here?", I ask her.

She turns to look at me. "No, I'm going through the mail. Did you want something?"

I frown. "No, thanks."

Turning back around, I head to my room again. Shaking my head slightly, I drop it, thinking nothing off it. So I return to my safe zone - aka my bed - and sit on the light grey sheets. After pressing play on Shane's video, I reach over to the end of my bed and grab my old-pink coloured knitted blanket. Wrapping it around me, I lean back and enjoy the sound of Shane's creepy voice. 

Then my phone rings. 

And it's on the other side of the bed.

Shutting my eyes for a moment, I take a deep breath in to try and calm myself down. Literally, my life is against me. 

Going against everything in my body, I sit up from my comfortable burrito position and grab my phone, that's still ringing. Paige's name is on the screen. I roll my eyes and answer.

"I told you not to call again you stupid bitch."

"That was before I saw Sabrina with Derek-the-douche outside Starbucks", she answers.

My eyes pop out of their sockets. "Sabrina and the biggest douche of them all?" I raise an eyebrow even though she can't see me. "Are you sure? Because sometimes you see things that aren't-"

"Yes, Esther, I'm sure."

Sabrina is a girl from school. She had a major crush on Gabriel and would follow him anywhere. Don't get me wrong, she's a really sweet girl, but she doesn't have limits. At a party once, she faked breaking her ankle right in front of Gabriel and fell into his arms. Of course, being the naive and ignorant gentleman he was, he lifted her up and carried her to one of the tables. The second he placed her down, she pulled his face to hers and kissed him. Hard. Trust me, it was all very awkward. 

"Talk about completely switching taste of guys", I mumble. 

Derek was literally Gabriel's opposite. He still is. He's a soccer pro, team captain of course, player, utter douche. I really don't get it. Everybody at school knows him as the player, yet they adore him like some sort of God. It's gross. 

"I know right? Anyways, I'm a busy woman so I gotta run. Just thought I should let you know about miss desperate and mr douche."

"Thank you my dear secret agent. Keep in touch."

+++++++++++

Hello folks! 

I hope you're having a great week, if not, I hope it turns out great despite the bad beginning. 

Take care of yourselves and the people around you! Do the things that make you happy, hang with people that make you feel good and smile. 

Lots of love,

  Wilma