Campfire Stories!

Complete Confusion

Staring: Batman, Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, & Robin

It was an eerie night (as always in Gotham) that met Batman in his respectfully named Batcave on his Batchair in front of the Batcomputer. (Oh lordie, help us)

Batman stared at the screen of the computer, wondering what his life even was anymore. He was trying to figure out what was probably the stupidest case ever. Because, who even steals 43 frikkin cats from a local shelter?

Seriously, what is even wrong with Catwoman these days?

He was trying to figure out where she had taken all those cats when, lo and behold, Richard Grayson, or better known as Nightwing, walked in. And by "walked" I mean fell from the rafters. Yeah.

"Wuz up, Bruce?" Nightwing asked, leaning over the chair and staring at the screen with him.

Bruce stared at him for a few seconds before looking back. "Shouldn't you be in Bludhaven?"

Nightwing didn't say anything. "Maybe? I don't know, Jason told me to come and annoy you. He also said something about some jerk who still hasn't killed the Joker."

"Why won't anyone let that go?"

"Because he has a point?"

"No, Dick, I think you guys just don't understand. Whatever, can you leave me alone?" Batman asked with a sigh.

"Sorry," Nightwing responded. "Why the heck did Catwoman steal 43 cats?" he asked, looking strangely at the computer screen.

"I don't even know anymore," Bruce grumbled.

Suddenly, from the ceiling, dropped a young man wearing a brown leather jacket and some sort of strange red cone thing. If you know what the heck I'm talking about, then you would know it is a red "hood". Or maybe it's a mask. I don't know. Don't ask me these questions. Leave me alone!!

*Cough*

"I think Dickie brought up a very fair point," he said. "I mean, why can't you just-"

"Please stop using Richard as your scapegoat," Bruce said. "And can you go away? I'm trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with my villains. "

"But I'm just saying-"

"No," Bruce said. "Go away. Annoy Damien. Maybe he'll try to kill you."

"Oh come on, I could beat the demon in any-"

"Hey Bruce," Dick began, "Where is the Batmobile?"

Bruce blinked in confusion and turned around to look at the pad where the car was supposed to be located. He said nothing when he realized it was empty.

Jason started cackling at Batman's totally blank face as he continued staring at the place where the Batmobile was supposed to be. 

"Is it considered abuse if I kill Damien for this?" Bruce finally asked.

"Yes," they both deadpanned.

Bruce looked back at the computer screen in silence. Dick and Jason stared at the screen as well, wondering what life even was these days.

That was probably when none other than the Batmobile burst through the waterfall secret entrance thing that may or many not exist. The three of them stared at the half destroyed car as the top door thing lifted open and Robin jumped out, grinning happily.

Bruce calmly brought his hand to his face as if he was nursing an already growing headache.

"CAN WE KEEP THEM, FATHER?!" Damien asked.

That was when they realized that, somehow, there were 43 cats in the car. Along with a tied up Tim Drake.

"Oh lordie, good luck with this one, Bruce," Jason said with a grin on his face.

"Kill me now," Bruce groaned.

A/N: If I got anything wrong, please tell me. I need constructive criticism or whatever since these are my first fanfictions and I suck at personalities and such so like....