“Just close your eyes.. you’ll be alright.”
I got a call from one of my best friends pagka-uwi ko ng bahay. Taong-bahay kasi ako. Isa yata ako sa mga estudyante na bahay-school lang talaga yung itinerary nung highschool.
I picked up my phone only to hear nothing but sounds coming from a guitar. No one’s talking. Until one unfamiliar voice started singing the song. Of course, napatawa ako. I know it’s just one of my friends who likes to annoy me since that was my favorite Taylor Swift song.
That was one of the good laughs that I had back then. Hanggang ngayon nga, sa tuwing naalala ko yun, natatawa pa rin ako.
The call ended.
At kasabay nun, natapos din ang kanta nang hindi ko man lang nakilala kung sino ang nagigitara habang kumakanta.
My friend called me again.
I thought to myself, “Ano na naman ba ‘to?” But then, I picked up the call.
“Tawa ka ng tawa. Halatang kinikilig ka.”
I got confused that time. Why would my heart flutter over a song that was sung by my friends?
“Bakit naman ako kikiligin sa trip niyo?”
“Ano'ng trip? Si Pat kaya yung kumanta.”
Natahimik ako.
Hindi ko naman inakala na sa lahat ng tao, ikaw pa pala yun.
I chose to laugh at what my friend said. Maybe, to hide the embarrassment that I felt. Perhaps to hide the loud beating of my heart. Well, I don’t know. I’m not sure anymore. It has been seven years since that thing happened.
“Hold onto this lullaby even when the music’s gone…”
Alam mo, kumapit ako.
Kumapit ako kahit alam kong wala namang kakapitan. Ikaw naman kasi, eh. Why do you kept on doing those random gestures? Or maybe I’m just assuming things. Baka ako lang naman yung nagbibigay ng kahulugan sa lahat ng pinapakita mo.
Baka wala lang pala talaga sa'yo yun.
Baka.
Dahil dito hindi tayo nakapag-usap kahit isang araw man lang.
Baka kasi tuksuin tayo.
Baka kasi bigyan nila ng meaning yung paglapit mo sa akin.
Baka ganon nga talaga. Baka hindi naman pala talaga tayo para sa isa't-isa. Pareho kasi tayo, eh. Sobrang pareho natin na naging dahilan para mag-repel tayo sa isa't-isa. Naalala ko tuloy yung electricity activity natin. Yung dapat na pailawin yung fluorescent tube? Hindi yun umilaw diba?
Alam mo narealize ko na ngayon kung bakit. Magkapareho kasi yung wire na ikinabit natin. At kapag magkapareho, hinding-hindi nga talaga iilaw yung fluorescent tube.
Katulad natin.
Kaya siguro wala tayong connection dahil sa sobra nating pagkakapareho. Science says we’re not meant to be. We’re two similar poles that kept on repelling and repelling. Mahirap nga siguro kalabanin si Science. Kaya nga siguro we didn’t took a science-related course nung college. Yes, I do still remember how you rant about our biology project. You were annoyingly cute that time.
“No one can hurt you now..”
Alam ko na wala naman akong karapatan para masaktan. Hindi naman tayo. Hindi naman ako sigurado kung gusto mo nga ako. Actions might speak louder than words pero hanggang doon lang naman yun diba? Hanggang gawa lang.
Pero wag kang mag-alala. Hindi na kasing sakit ng nararamdaman ko dati ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. I’m way better now and will continue being better dahil ito ang dapat at ito ang tama.
“You and I’ll be safe and sound..”
We’re finally safe and sound.
In our own separate homes.
And where all the lights are already turned on.
