I sat in my room just the same as I had been for the passed 3 weeks. Barely eating. Barely sleeping. Barely doing anything. My eyes have ran dry of tears many days ago and all day I didn't feel like doing anything other than being cooped up in my thoughts.
I hear a light knock at my door and I pull an earbud out of my tear to look up at the figure standing at my door. "E?" She whispered peering her head into my room- she gives me a small smile taking a seat on the edge of my bed
A comforting silence filled the room and she finally speaks up "we ordered pineapple pizza" she smiled "your favorite" she says pulling out 2 pieces of pizza on a plate from behind her "thanks" I say softly shrugging
My shaky hands grasp the plate and I place it on my bedside table next to the untouched sandwich she had given me for luch and eggs from breakfast "Ethan please eat" my mom pleaded I rolled my eyes "I can't" I choke
"You need to eth. I got your favorite too! Why don't you eat?" She asks holding my head in her hand. Her thumb brushed back and forth against my cheek. I can't imagine how she feels seeing her son. Now her only son. Me- so drained and unlively.
"It's not the same without Grayson" I huff- I push her hand away from my cheek turning my head to face the wall "is this all you came in here for? To taunt me about not eating? I'm doing my best mom give my a break- I'm sorry that Grayson died 3 weeks ago and I'm still not over it but I can't help it" I yell,
I instantly regret yelling as I see her face go pale as tears brimmed her eyes. She takes a deep breath "I know Ethan- I'm sorry" she shakes her head "it's just worrying me- I know you miss your brother but if you don't eat your gonna get sick hun" she tells me
"I did eat" I spat pointing over at the half aten plate of eggs from this morning "E you know that's no where near enough-" she goes off. I nod sighing. "I'm sorry- I know your just worried but I don't know what to do mom I'm a mess- he's my only friend and now he's gone"
"I never thought this day would come" I whimpered as a tear falls from my eye- "you haven't talked to any of us in over a week Ethan- why don't you get out of your room I'm sure that would help" she suggested
"And do what?" I snap back "go skate in the park? Alone ? No. I always did that with Grayson. Go to the cliffs? No. I do that with Grayson too. I can't do anything I love because I always did it with Grayson and now he's- he's gone" I say throwing my hands in the air
"Just because he's gone doesn't mean you should give up on yourself Ethan- I still care about you- what about your father? Cameron?" She asked and I shrugged- I honeslty didn't have an answer. They weren't going to understand that no one could be put in place of Grayson.
"He took a piece of me with him that I'll never be able to get back" I say looking down "it will get easier" she says placing a kiss on my forehead "I'll let you be for tonight E, but we have somewhere to go in the morning- I'm not gonna tell you where it you have to go" she explains
"Just make sure you're up and ready for 12 pm" she says making her way out of my room- she goes to close my door but stops mid way "oh- and please try to eat honey- I know it's hard but just do your best- for me?" I nod motioning her to leave the room
I sigh being alone again- I lay down facing the ceiling "what am I gonna do" I whispered to myself before putting the kid cudi playlist to the highest volume to boom through my headphones as I shut my eyes
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A/N// Sooooooo what do you think? obviously this is a new book but I'm really excited to get started ! ❤️ I'll update as soon as I cannnnn :)
Love you guys 💗
