Brutal Honesty

january 20th

To Haley, To Becky, To Charlye: A Poem

coke, cannabis, and coffee might be all I ever need,

I only think like this because you fucking hurt me.

And I've written so many lines about you 

And I swear with every ingested line, my last thought is you.

Substances on substances, and people I like to believe care,

there's a whole I have to fill, you bitches should have been there.

I write and I paint, I guess i think it'll make me okay.

But every fucking day I wake up and I'm already exhausted from masking the pain.

I know that this heartbreak I'm describing is cliche

 and I know that because of you, I'm not okay.

It's like as I'm writing this I'm screaming and pulling out my hair

I might as well be, I'm headed there. 

You see, all i can do now is work on myself, 

I love to watch you stare.

At this point you might think you've won, 

sometimes I think that too.

I'm an enlightened individual,

 but I can only wish bad to you. 

It's not a lie when I say I would be happy if you died,

I'd smile when if I could look into your lifeless eyes.