Meme Team's Excellent Adventure

Prologue

Date: September 6, 2017
Location: Blizzard Entertainment, Irvine, California
Time: 21:34

"Status Update"? Jeff asked the seventh time in the last 10 minutes. "Everything appears to be going well Jeff, his assistant and long-time buddy Geoff Goodman said (Think the Mr. Smithers of Jeff). "Salt levels are still, going high as nearly thousands of Mercy mains are still arguing about Mercy's changes, and toxic levels have increased by 41%, the fastest that it has grown ever". "Thats uh, really nice Geoff"! Jeff said, rubbing his hands together in his evil way. No matter how evil Jeff tried to make himself, he always never had that very evil of a voice. "Sonner or later the entire Overwatch full of enough toxicity that we can finally run our army!" He looked out the window of his office, looking down at the many people who were walking around. Soon they would all be under his command."Uhh sir, you didn't let me mention the fact that we do have a problem though. "What?" Jeff said, snapping his head back in a dangerously low tone. Geoff immediately winced a little bit. "W-well sir..there appears to be an anomaly that has sprout up in our system." What anomaly, cmon, speak up!" Jeff shouted, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. "I-I..well...there appears to be a certain..group..of players that have started to..well generate positivity with whoever they meet." How have we noticed this?!" Jeff exclaimed, his face starting to turn red with anger and his eyes starting to turn white hot. "Well sir, you have to understand that this has generating gradually overtime. But it appears that their positivity rate has started to increase". Jeff stared at Geoff for a while. Then he dropped him down on the floor, as Geoff gasped for air. "How much loss in toxicity are we looking at"?,Jeff asked, staring out into the window once again. "By November we are looking at nearly 40% loss in toxicity".  No no no no NO! This couldn't be happening Jeff thought. More time. All he needed was more time. "Who are these players?" Jeff asked. "Well we have a list of these people. "We got Zachariah-" "Zachariah?" Jeff interrupted. "What a stupid name!" Geoff waited for him to finish his rambling. "Well, as I was saying, Zachariah appears to be a Genji and Widow main. Plays them for absolutely unhealthy amount of time. Then we have AToasterOven, who appears to be a Roadhog and Junkrat main.  There's TheMemeyBBT, some midget who plays a ton of D. Va.  Then we also have ShadowPanda1, whose only instinct is to insta-lock Mercy.  We also have Vamp1re who has...over a hundred hours on Tracer. Finally we have Mai, who seems to also have a ton of time on D. Va as well. "Well then" Jeff said turning to face Geoff, "I uh, believe it is time for extreme measures. Follow me Geoff". Geoff followed Jeff towards the wall of his office where Jeff revealed the key pad that Geoff had never seen before. After pushing the buttons in combination, there revealed a secret passage way. Jeff and Geoff walked though the dark tunnel for some time. "Uhhh sir?" Geoff asked, "Where exactly are we going? This doesn't seem like the regular command center at all." "You're correct Geoff." Jeff answered, "Because no one besides you has even been in this room before." As they finally reached the end of the tunnel, there was a bare room full of nothing but a row of over 50 buttons. Each 2 buttons contained an Overwatch character with either buff or nerf on it (i.e. nerf mercy, buff mercy etc.). "I uh, built this room Geoff, on the off-case that I would ever need to make emergency changes. And now, it seems like we will need them now". And with that Jeff pressed  buttons: nerf Genji, Widow, Roadhog, D.Va, Mercy, Tracer, and Junkrat. "Now" Jeff said, all we have to do is to wait.