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depression tells me when i'm going to have a sleepless night, to throw up. to skip breakfast lunch dinner. in a row. he doesn't know i'm cheating on him with the razors in my shower. and very rarely self love. but those rare moments with her are mostly one night stands. she never has committed to one person, she tells me. i spent more time with self love as a kid, before she moved on to others. the happiness she gave me turned into their own. i met my lover soon after. depression is honest. always. he'll tell me if i look good in my new dress or not. he suggests spending time on myself. he demands me to stay in bed. for a week. the razors always show up when i'm showering. depression watches, and enjoys it. when we make love, it's like a bow playing it's violin. my cum is warm, almost like blood. but with self love, it's like me making love to me. who knew your lover could know more about you than yourself?
