My twinkle star

Nightmare

It's hard to wake up from a Nightmare when a Nightmare is Real ~~~ Kristin cashore

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It seems like am stuck at the place that am standing on , I can't move nor can I scream I try with every strength I have  left in my body and soul to reach them,to stop them ,to do anything to stop this from happening.
But they don't hear nor see me it's like am watching what happened to them in the car crash when it took place and it's all being rewinded for me to watch to be .... tortured with it .
I start crying I try to move my body but it's not yet moving " why ? Why am I seeing this " I ask myself but nobody answers me. Suddenly I see them My beautiful imperfect family.I watch them from the place  am standing at , in the middle of the road bridge it's silent out here you can see that it's dark and the moon is shining brightly.it seems like the moon is the only witness besides me other than God that is seeing what is happening and what will happen.
My family are all asleep except for my dad and mom both of them are talking to each other in hushed voice but I can see the love they have for each other is radiating of them . Both my parents start to laugh at something that they were talking about and am watching it from the road ,their car is heading straight towards me . I start worrying and try to make my hands move but it's like they have been glued to my sides .I try to use my voice nothing comes out it's like I haven't used my voice for the last ten years and have forgotten how to use it .
My dad looks like he is about to place a kiss on my Mom's forehead he looks away from the road and turns to her and kisses her while she blushes like a teenager. They are so oblivious to what is happening around "look in front of you Dad!" I scream and I start moving my hands and body . "Am not stuck and am able to move and I can  help them before anything happens "I thought to myself . But my relief is short lived and see my dad trying his best to turn the other way round before they hit me but it's too late and the car is coming straight towards me .I freeze and my dads eyes looks horrified while my mom is screaming at him to do something, I shield myself with my arms crossed while screaming and the cars light shining brightly on me . And it all seems to disappear when I was anticipating the feeling of my body being thrown away . I open my eyes slowly and see nothing there it's all dark , the atmosphere seems to have changed the moon is not there I notice that am not at the road bridge and get scared and afraid when I notice am at the graveyard. I see tombstones after tombstones all around me  in a circle formation I try to escape the place and stand a distance away. I move two steps away and when am about to take another step my leg is pulled . My heart is beating so fast  in my chest and I look at what pulled my leg and see a hand coming out of the grave,I start screaming and kicking at the hand to let me go . But it doesn't it only tightens its grip on my leg I keep on screaming and kicking my mind keeps on repeating to me " it's only a dream Kelly , wake up from it ! Wake up"" .

The voice is repeated again and again and suddenly am awake in a room i don't recognize at first but later realize it's Granny's guest room. I notice that Am sweating so bad like I had been running a mile per second. My blanket is wrapped around my body like a snake I try to get myself out of it with my heart beating fast but calming down. I struggle to get out of it even though it isn't that tightly wrapped around me, I fall down in the floor while struggling and that seems to do the trick . I get out of it and try to calm my mind down and just realize that my bladder is about to burst and walk quickly to the bathroom. " This can't get worse how am I feeling like peeing when I just drank one cup only" I think to myself.

After using the bathroom and zoning out while using the bathroom I got out after washing my hands and myself .

I head straight out of the room and towards the kitchen . I make sure to not make a sound while walking in the hallway that all the rooms are at , and wake up Granny and possibly Gran pa . I descend the stairs and walk towards the kitchen .

I end up next to the fridge and look for something to eat because I was starving and needed something to prepare me for tomorrow and to forgot the Nightmare that I had. "But some Nightmares can't be escaped or forgotten if it's real " my inner voice tells me.

I just shrug it of and see a box of frozen pizza and grab a glass of milk for energy along with it from the fridge.I put the pizza in the microwave and lean at the counter right next to it . I cross my arms and try my best to not think about the dream I had which was more like a nightmare.
The pizza becomes warmed and I take it out of the microwave.

I grab my plate and the glass of milk and head towards my room for the moment and do the same as before being quiet and reach my room. I head to towards the balcony that is connected to this room which I have always used when I used to visit Granny.

I open the door that separates the balcony from the room and place my items at the side table that is near my favorite swing chair which was black on the outside and dark red inside .
I got my duvet that I had always put at the side whenever I came here , which seemed to be in place looking more clean than before.i wrapped myself with my purple duvet and got inside the swing . When I made myself comfortable I looked at the sky and noticed that the sky looked so beautiful and enticing as ever. The moon was shining so bright in its place looking so magnificent with the stars , it's companion was always twinkling brightly.

I sigh and pick my plate and glass of milk from the table , and wrap my other hand tightly at the duvet to protect me .... but not from the cold but the pain that seemed like it was spreading through my whole body and soul.

I drink my milk while fighting the urge of remembering the Nightmare , but I seemed to fail and start thinking about it all.

It felt like I was watching it again like a horrible rewinded movie for me to watch , from the way I was stuck to how I ended in the graveyard . I start to cry and my body starts to shake as I cry .I place the milk at the table and place the plate of pizza which was untouched next to it.I cover my eyes and start crying as if my whole life depends on it . I cry for what seemed like hours with my legs pulled closer to my chest with my hands holding it tightly to my upper body and my head laying on my legs .
Kelly what is Wrong with you ? You need to be strong for Jacob and for yourself , you need to make your parents and siblings proud of you even though they aren't with you right now and you need to come out of this problem like the tigress you are"a soft but firm voice tells me and it turns out to be my inner soul voice telling me .

I realized that the voice in my head may sometimes be my Worst Enemy but it will still be The best voice ever for me to listen to . I wipe my tears away and look up at the sky with a new determination that I will be the best person and sister for Jacob . I will put my pain aside for him even if he cant speak and hasn't woken up yet .But even though I have this new determination now I know I will have my weak moments and down times but I promise myself that I will cry it out . No matter how people would think that is being a cry baby which I don't see how it affects or concerns them . I will cry my heart out in my private place with no human being making me feel weak than When am not one . I will cry it out and cleanse my heart then move on and look for the solution of my problems with my head held high.

I smile to myself while holding the duvet closer to me and start to stand up from the swing . I walk towards the edge of the balcony and place my hand on the cold stone of it. I looked over the city and saw that a lot of people are asleep and oblivious to what the other part of the world and people are going through.

Missed me? Love you