Closed Doors

Chapter Three - Maybe Someday

I told him about about my past, about my dad leaving us when I was five, and then my mother dying four years ago, leaving me to live with my closest relatives; my aunt and uncle. And their daughter Elsah. I left out the details of the abuse, I didn’t tell him that it was a one off. I couldn’t be vulnerable, I couldn’t handle him walking away because of how screwed up I am. I also didn’t tell him about leaving sometimes, there were secrets that had to be kept.

By the time I was finished, I was crying quietly, but he ignored the tears. I was grateful for this, grateful that he was sticking around, grateful that I didn’t have to say anything else. We just sat there, quietly. There was an atmosphere of honesty, of openness. He didn’t tell me everything, I knew this, but he also knew I didn’t tell him everything. For now, it was enough. I had told my story, and I had listened to someone else’s.

The ancient jukebox in the corner was playing Elvis off tune and crackly. I noticed vaguely that two men were loitering around it, talking in hushed tones that were disguised by the music. The cracked window let in the last sunlight of the day. I loved this time of day. It was quiet; full of a promise for tomorrow and a forgiveness for today. The only time I loved more than this was night. I smelled coffee and pie, a nostalgic feeling washing over me. I sat there, missing people and places that I have never met and never seen. There was sadness, somewhere, but mostly I was just content. I hadn’t been this happy in a long while. I unconsciously shuffled closer to Cason, only realising now that he smelled like mint and cigarettes and wood. He casually draped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer. I smiled into his shoulder.

The clock ticked in the corner, slowly dragging at the time, tugging it away from my weak grasp. It was dark by now, the sun had set but the moon was yet to rise, a cold breeze tickled the autumn leaves outside. I gasped and sat upright quickly, startling Cason out of his sleepy daze.

“I have to go” I hissed urgently “They… won’t be pleased if I stay out too long.”

“Hey, hey, calm down, it’s okay.” I hadn’t realised I was close to hysteria until he brought me away from it. “Let’s go” We walked to his car, me wishing that we had time to linger in the last remnants of our time together, him realising there was a deeper meaning behind my haste. I didn’t even get a chance to look at his car, we just got in and drove. The ride was silent but not awkward, both of us relatively happy. There was a nagging voice in the back of my head, reminding me that my family were going to be angry, the father would probably be drunk, and I will probably be a convincing image for a punching bag in his eyes.

The town was further than I realised. I watched the street light glow brighter as we drove faster, away from our happy little town, back to reality. Maybe someday, we could move there, he and I. Grow up, grow old, grow dead. I glanced at him to find he was already looking at me, my stomach lurching a bit at this. I smiled weakly, my mind crazy with images of past present and future. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe someday. I nearly laughed at myself, we barely met and I was planning to move with him. I shook my head, of course he wouldn’t be interested in me, I was broken, ugly, fragile.

“What?” he asked softly, not breaking the spell

“Just thinking.”

“Of…?” he prompted

“Possibilities.” I replied, and I think he understood more than I had told him. He didn’t prompt me further, and I was glad to just be silent with him, to not have to push to be the loud, talkative girl I always am. We passed all the landmarks that had become familiar over the past four years. I hated each of them. And then we were at my house, and I was saying goodbye, and he was saying he would see me tomorrow. And then he was gone, and I was alone and afraid.

 A/N: Another chapter yay. Okay, it's short but I prefer it this way, easier to write, easier to read, easier to plan. Win win win!! Hope you liked it, happy easter!! You know the drill ;)))) Anyone shipping Cason and Sawyer? Cawyer? Caser? I dunno, I'll figure something out

Love,

LW