I Sold Myself to the Devil for Vinyls... Pitiful I Know

I Sold Myself to the Devil for Vinyls... Pitiful I Know (65)

Alright so for now on, please the no sleeping because I'll upload, don't do it or make me feel bad about it alright?  

Pressure pissed me off. 

And now the fracking bird are singing... and the sun is rising. And I will wake up big boy downstairs when I'll go take my shower! Just great! -_-

Anyway! Here it is.. I don't know how long this will be but I hope you enjoy it. I do believe my quality of writing is going down with my exaustion and I'm pretty exausted lately! So ya... suck it up! lol (Exaustion makes me bitchy too, sorry!)

Anyway.. some of you didn't like Lexi mind rambling and she still does it here, but sorry, that's just the way she IS. Lexi over thinks. And jumps to conclusions. And rather reject before being rejected. She's not perfect. That's what makes her "human"

So.. hope this will be good enough for a little while now..

I personaly don't like it at this moment of time, but bleh!

I'm sure I wanted to say more things but I'm tired and you guys are waiting.

So read, and enjoy I guess! lol

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Once I finally reached home, stubbornly not stopping to drive even though I barely saw anything with my tears-filled eyes, I parked and hyperventilated a little more, before wiping my eyes.

Dad's car was in the driveway. Meaning he was home. Meaning he would see my red poufy eyes and hear my running nose and ask questions, question I couldn't even answer myself. So I hurried inside, holding my bag tightly, hoping he would be in his study and busy with something. But the second I walked in, dad, smiling, stepped out of the kitchen to greet me and saw my face.

Damn it!

"Kid, what's wrong?" he automatically asked, concern deep in his eyes.

"Nothing, everything's fine," I told him, slipping out of my shoes and then hurried to the stairs to lock myself up in my room like some depress teenager.

"Kid, you need to talk about this?" he kept pushing.

"No dad! I'm FINE! Alright? I just want to be alone for a little while and not see anyone alright," I almost shouted at him and then sprang to my room.

After closing the door behind me, I threw myself on my bed and punched it a few times!

Stupid, idiot, STUPID STUPID!

Seriously how freaking dumb was I?

I shouldn't have let myself care so much about Blake!

And why hadn't I let him talk? Because the worst thing he could have said was what I had said to him right? So it wouldn't have been that bad to hear HIM say he didn't want me.

Lie.

It would have been more than awful. But at least now I wouldn't be asking myself what he had tried to tell me! Because that was what was nagging me right now.

What would have Blake said if I had given him the time to finish a sentence?

Dang it!

I should have just shut up! And I should just stop thinking!