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I just want to break down, like really break down, with tears streaming down my face while I'm gasping for air to keep my lungs in my chest. But all I can ever manage to do is get this lump in my throat that is more of a punishment than a relief and when I'm done all I feel is worse and it seems as if I can never really fully snap out of this breakdown and I want to scream at anyone and everything so much my body is shaking but I can't because I'm too weak.

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