Lost Lover //Shawmila (DISCONTINUED LMAO)

8- Feeling Betrayed

(a/n: First of all, I decided I would write a/n before. Also, I'm so sorry I took this long to update. You see, school has started and I don't get as much time anymore, as I'm very busy with school work. But I'll try. This is the longest chapter so far, hope you enjoy it.

On with the story  ->)

He slowly lifted his face, inch by inch, only to have the same shock registered on his face as mine a moment later.

"M-M-Mila? Is t-that you?"

"Y-Yes, it i-is." I whispered, my voice trembling slightly. My mind was buzzing with apprehension, wondering how he would react. However, the soft and affectionate eyes I saw only a little more than a second ago were gone, and replaced with cold, emotionless eyes, boring into me with hardness and ice.

He cleared his throat, as if he was about to make a life-changing declaration, and then spoke up with his boss-like tone again, as if the past few seconds didn't exist.

"I will repeat my question again, WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT MADE THE WARDS ALLOW YOU IN?"

My expression twisted from terrified into an utterly bewildered face. "Wards?"

Shawn huffed in aggravation, kicking the wall with force. I shrank back from the din. Shawn had changed. Not for the better. He was much more violent, egotistical, and less caring. He turned to face me, his eyes rapidly burning a hole of fire in my heart. He flashed me the deadliest glare in history, lethal enough to kill if it could. I gulped and let out a shaky breath, shuddering, trying to keep down the bile rising in my throat. He scoffed. "Oi, Cabello, have you not gone to school? You should know what wards are! And also, thought I don't think we ever were more than simple acquaintances, in which case I decided to test out my acting skills, you know enough about me and know that I am not dumb enough to secure a place as important as this. Once again, I will ask. What do you have that made the wards allow you through? You're not worthy of being here."

I let the words sink in, until a wave of realisation splashed over me, soaking me with dread and anguish. "Acting skills? Shawn, what are you trying to say?" I whispered, though I knew exactly what was coming up. I couldn't help but feel like life wasn't on my side at all. He smirked. His dreadful smirk when something dreadful was about to be scornfully released out of his mouth. Oh no.

"What? You actually thought I loved a good-for-nothing like you? You thought I loved a weak, talentless idiot like you? You thought I would actually waste my full time fooling around with you? God, you really do sound uneducated. I should be concerned, but I'm really not. Go die in a hole."

I felt tears threatening to fall past my waterline. However, I pushed them back. I couldn't let myself lose. Crying would mean defeat. And since when did I accept defeat? I took a breath and ravaged my mind for a witty remark, smirking maliciously when I found one.

"Oh, I'm sorry Mendes, but I don't take your orders. You may think you're above me, but there's no proof for that. If you were smart, you would know proof is everything to me. But apparently you don't, so who's the idiot now? Also, you may have fooled me with your petty acts, but I'll get over you quite easily actually. Especially as you're such a git now, and nobody wants a useless git, do they? Unless they're a prat themselves. And I have a bit more dignity than to stroll around with a sickening guy like you, you can die in a hole, if there is a hole, that is."

I felt proud of my words. But for some reason, I didn't feel they were truly from my heart. I turned to leave the lifeless place, when I felt a tight grip on my wrist. I instantly felt warmth surging through me. Shawn. I shuddered at the mere touch, until today's events came rushing back at me. I forced down the thought of blissful warmth because of such a spoilt being, and replaced with ice. Cold, cold ice, slowly freezing my veins and snapping them in half. Slowly reducing my body temperature degree by degree, until I was nobody. I tried. But it was no use. I groaned in utter frustration, and then promptly turned around to see an evil smirk plastered onto that once perfect face of his. I immediately started to drown in depression. Once perfect.... Then it all came tumbling on me, burying me in the hole I fell too deep in to come back out. The only reason I had left the safety of my house had been thrown in the dustbin. Shawn wasn't mine anymore. He didn't want to be mine anymore. He would never be mine again. And the worst thing was that the love we shared was all just a petty game. I thought it was all real. All those moments we shared together...I thought they meant something to him. But I was proved wrong. My mind went to Austin. I had the perfect boyfriend any girl would swoon over, and turned out to be much more affectionate than this modified version of Shawn. But why did I still feel empty, like a part of me had been disposed. In an instant, the answer crashed on my like the harsh waves of a speedy waterfall. I didn't just have a teenage crush on him, nor did I just like him. Despite his actions, I had fallen too deep. I loved him. And I was stuck in the web. Just before tears fought their way outside, Shawn cleared his throat, diverting all attention. I felt the tears return to their homeplace. All I felt was anger. I glared at him with all my might, willing to give him a piece of my mind. I imitated him, mocking his action of clearing his throat and spoke up in a passion-filled voice topped up with confidence, dignity, and pride.

"Ahem, Mendes, you can't just claim me like a toy! I choose to leave, so I will leave. Besides, that's what you want, right?" I tried to escape this heavenly hell, only heavenly because of Shawn's presence, unfortunately, but I felt the same ice hands gripping my wrists, unfortunately still sending only warmth through me. He pulled me back and whispered "But what if we're not finished yet?" huskily into my ear, sending shivers up my spine. I took a deep breath in, releasing it seconds after. Shawn brought me closer to him and took a whiff of scent. His nose scrunched up in revolt. "God, Cabello, you smell like daisies, honey and....bananas. Bananas are absolutely disgusting! And daisies and honey are much too positive. However, hidden under that so prominent layer, I thought my nostrils here spotted.... A scent of me. It's been a year, what the hell do you do to keep my scent?" He criticised, raising his voice slightly for the last few words. I felt myself shaking slightly, immediately putting an end to it once I realised. I couldn't act weak. I couldn't be the loser. Since when have I accepted defeat? 'Since Shawn existed,' my mind stated matter-of-factly, but I was a lovesick fool then. Now wasn't the time to cry over a mere boy, who was just using me. I straightened my posture, and tried to seem defiant, but before I could throw a witty retort, Shawn sent a command. "Demetria, take her to the heated shower." The woman gracefully walked over to me, gripping my right arm, and nodding curtly to Shawn. Before I could take note of my surroundings, I was shoved into a shower cubicle. She slammed the door shut and pressed a button. Immediately, steam began to fog my vision and scorching water burned holes in my skin. I let myself freely screech in agony. Redness start to visibly show on my caramel skin. A couple of seconds later, I felt something trickling down my cheeks, and down to my lips. They tasted salty. As my tears merged with the shower water, I let myself drown in dismay. I emptied out my soul to the walls surrounding me, as if they could hear every word of mine. Abruptly, the scorching water disappeared and the steam lingering around vanished, as if it was never there. The door was pulled open, and I saw a glimpse of platinum blond hair before I was whisked into another cubicle. She pressed another button and left. Immediately hot, speedy air filled the area, ridding all the water droplets on my skin and in my hair within seconds. The next moment the hot air had vanished too. The door opened, and Demetria grabbed my left arm. Within seconds I found myself in the same room as before. Shawn grabbed me close to him, taking a whiff of my scent again. He smirked in satisfaction.

"Good, you smell of nothing now. Exactly what I wanted. Your clothes had a stronger scent of me though, but we've sorted that out. It had the scent as I bought you the top. I would have taken it away, but I'd rather have you keep it, so you drown in depression even more. Leave. And never come back. Oh, I forgot, the wards won't let you come back. Harry, lead her to the exit. Goodbye forever!"

I sneered at him, but deep down, my heart was in pieces. The brown haired gruff man grabbed me and led me through the lifeless city, until we reached a tunnel. We walked right to the end, where there was a ladder. He threw my clothes at me and left me there, deserted. Sighing in defeat, I threw off the disgusting clothing on my skin, putting on my colour-filled clothes again, and began to climb up the ladder. A piece of my heart fell off every step I took. I felt betrayed, I felt mistreated, and I felt worthless. That's what Shawn made me feel like. Yet I still loved him. All of a sudden I felt burdened. I knew what I had to do next, even though it would break me even more. I couldn't love two people.

I had to break up with Austin.

(a/n: Vote, comment and follow please!

Till next time XD)