Blurred Lines

Chapter 9

*EMMETT'S POINT OF VIEW*

When i first saw her i thought there was nothing extraordinary about her. I didn't even look twice. Now that I've known her, held her, seen every inch of her body, felt her hands roam my skin, watched her beautiful face as she slept, i know that she is nothing if not extraordinary.

To those that much is given, much is expected.

It's funny i think how cliches are only cliche because they are in fact the truth. "You don't know what you have until you lose it". Except, i knew exactly what i had, i knew and longed and hoped and begged. But then again, i know i never really had her. I thought i was sad when they all left me. I thought i knew what aching was. But Nothing at all compares, to the feelings i felt and still feel now because she left, and i have nothing but emptiness.

Worst part? It's all my fault. I drove her away. Why? Because I am weak. Because I couldn't sit and watch as she cried over some stupid guy who didn't love her at all. I just didn't understand how she couldn't see herself the way i did. She deserved way more. Not even i could ever deserve her. My father had been right after all, all i was was a background figure

The past few weeks had been hell on earth for me. I hadn't had a proper meal in days. I would see the way she averted her eyes when she saw me. She even got herself a new lab partner. Where my days were usually filled with her laughter, I had only white noise. I knew I crossed a line. I knew I couldn't take it back . And it hurt even more. Every time I saw that Dylan, I had to fight the urge to smash his face in. But didn't he do me favour? No, I'd rather she be happy with him than the way she was now.

After two whole weeks of cowardice, i finally decided to go over to her house. I would tell her i was sorry. I'd grovel and beg. I would not leave until she forgave me. So, feeling brave as ever, I made my way to her house. In all the years we'd been friends i'd never felt the need to knock. But then i felt like an intruder. So i knocked, many times, till i realised nobody was home. So much for my courage! I was just about to leave when Winter pulled into the driveway. She looked shocked and... afraid?  Of me? No no no no, i couldn't believe it. I waited as she locked her car, coming out with three boxes of what appeared to be pancake mix. She walked right past me and let herself into the house shutting the door behind her.

Okay, this would be harder than I originally thought. I banged on the door until she came and opened it angrily. "What do you Emmett!" She screamed at me. "I cowered slightly at the look in her eyes but spoke anyway. "I want to talk. T-to apologize, I-i mean. " i stammered out the sentence. I never stammer. I saw that she had not moved or changed her angry stance. "Please Winter, give me ten minutes, i promise I'll leave after that." She didn't reply, hesitated a little then opened the door wider for me to step in. I did so very quickly and made for the living room. Then i realised she was still standing right there. Oh, guess this would have to do. Okay, deep breaths i can do this.

" Okay ,I know that you probably hate me and i don't blame you for it, but i'm really sorry Winter. I should never have said any of those things to you and i promise i didn't mean any of it Winter. If you'd please let us be friends again, please, i really miss you and i can't go on like this much longer." I looked at her hopefully. She raised her angry glare and looked at me. "Don't you lie to me Emmett. You just miss having someone to tell all your stupid problems to. If you didn't mean it why the fuck did you say it?! To get some attention?  Embarrass me? Just for fun, because it's funny to see the stupid cry baby brought to tears?  Is that it Emmett?  Because i really want to know why the person i trusted the most in this world world would turn on me when i needed him. I thought you were my best friend Emmett." She was spitting every word out with raw emotion and it kinda scared me. "I know, It's not that simple Winter. I'm just really sorry." I pleaded. "Get out " she said it with disinterest, like the conversation was over for her. "Please Winter,  I..." i was on the verge of tears. "I said get out. You don't want to talk. Get the fuck out of my house! And my fucking life!" Her voice quivered on that last part and i knew i had hope. So i swallowed my fears and prayed to every god known to man. "I was jealous, okay. I am jealous. I said all that stuff because i was sick of seeing you hurt over a stupid guy who could didn't love the way i do, okay! Do you know how hard it was for me?" I laughed bitterly to myself. "Watching you fall in love with him when I was right here and you never even spared me a glance. I know it doesn't justify my actions and i get it if you don't want to talk to me again. But please talk to the rest of our friends, I'll stop talking to then, then at least you won't have to see me."

I lowered my head and made for the door but Winter blocked my path and pushed me back into her house. "You asshole!  You think you can just say that and then just leave?" She moved to where i was standing and threw her arms around my neck. I held on for dear life and felt in that moment that everything would be okay. "I'm so sorry Emmy, I really am a selfish little brat." She sobbed against my neck.