A Life Of Unkindness

We're Leaving Tree Hill..

As we all sat down to our meal together I looked around the table and realized how lucky I am still to still have all these wonderful people in mine and Sawyer's life. Knowing even with Peyton gone she still lives vicariously through all of us. Which made me rest easy knowing our daughter would get pieces of her mother from everyone else she loved so much. The people who have always been there for us no matter what. Jamie sat next to Sawyer going on about his college basketball season. She looked so interested more than I guess I ever noticed. Brooke and Halie we're catching up talking about her music and the children's clothing winter lines she has been working so hard on that were finally going to be released soon. Everyone was happy and together most of all, which made this day so much easier each year to get passed knowing all these amazing people had my back for now and for always.

Getting further into dinner when everyone was about to start grabbing desert. I felt that now was a good time as any to let the people I love the most know that we were fixing to be leaving for awhile.
I stood up at my seat and thanked everyone for coming. "You guys don't know how much seeing you all brings me so much happiness, I know alot of us see each other frequently but moments like these when we're all able to come together again with now our kids makes me glad I have held on to the best set of friends I could have ever imagined having in my life"... I said soon regretting what I was about to say knowing I should have talked to Sawyer about it, but I am her father and I think this is the best Descison for us at this time. I took a deep breath and continued to talk. "So, everyone I have an announcement. And frankly I should have made it sooner. And I know I may be upsetting alot of you for that I am sincerely sorry. Especially to Sawyer I know as you're father I should have talked to you about this earlier but I already knew what your point of view would be." everyone just sat in curiosity looking at one another like I had gone crazy. "What is Luke"? Brooke said looking scared to what my response may be.

"I have came to the realization that in the past nine years, I have coached the Tree Hill Ravens, I have written one other book prior to the two before Peyton's demise. And I am eternally grateful for the small things I have accomplished." I hesitated "Bro" Nathan stepped in during my pause. "What's up?" Since everyone was seemingly becoming upset or worried by there expressions i just went ahead and spoke up.

"Friday is my... Our last day in Tree Hill" I said looking at the faces of the people I cared about who just started at me blankly.
I could tell Sawyer did not like what I had just said. "What? Why luke?" Halie asked concerned. "Uncle Lucas" Jamie asked with a questionable look on his face. "Is this true?" Brooke followed behind Jamie asking as if I had lost my mind. While Sawyer stayed quiet with such a bitter look on her face that quickly turned angry.
I licked my lips to wet them as I felt ambushed so I sat back down. "Look everyone that is at this table minus mom and Lilly, you guys are my entire world. You don't know how hard of a decision this was to make but I have been thinking about it for quite some time now it's not like it was a split second descison or anythingthing like that. I.... Just think that at this time in my life, that I need to explore somethings and experience life again... And if that means leaving Tree Hill to do so than... Well, that's what I have to do." The table was quiet as I knew it would be seeing Sawyer still looking at me with the most hateful of looks. Before leaving the table angry enough to knock the chair in the floor and running to the back bedroom slamming the door behind her. "I just don't understand. Why wait til now to tell us? This soon of you're departure? Friday!" Halie exclaimed I could tell her feelings were hurt more than anything. As was Brooke's by the look she was giving me. "Look Dawg" said Skills. "Do you brotha we'll all be here waiting on you when you come back" I nodded my head towards him. "Thank you Skills that means alot". When Nathan intergected "you're sure this is what you want?, What about the house?".
"It's still going to be our house, it's paid for it's HOME we're just going to have another place rented for this time being and yes I am sure little brother." Brooke was sobbing and I wasn't sure if it was for me or for Sawyer or both. But it was enough to be upsetting for the rest. "B" I said looking at Brooke who was obviously very hurt by me saying I was leaving and taking Sawyer with me. "I don't understand, why now? Why wait til you're daughter is fourteen years old. With an established life and friends and a family that loves her."
She said talking with her hands the entire time. "You're right! That part is selfish of me." When Brooke and Halie both gave me a look that could burn a hole through your skin. "And why did you wait until five days prior to tell you're daughter!!!" Brooke said with so much anger in her voice.  "I'm not happy with my descion on that part ether" I added. "But I knew her as well as all the other lovely women of my life that she would fight me, not saying that still isn't going to happen cause I am raising a pre teen daughter all by myself but i am her father I may make some wrong choices or my actions may be in the wrong way but I promise you guys I'm doing it out of love. And I know Tree Hill is home, just as she knows this but I don't want her to be stuck or feel stuck with her life because that's what I did. After Peyton died a part of me died too. Being left with a five year old daughter to raise when I couldn't take care of myself after the loss I endured much less a child especially looking at her everyday being reminded that my wife is gone poof in an instant another person I loved, left unexpected and I guess a part of me is still grieving and I need to leave for awhile to find myself again. I know you all love me and Sawyer so much. But please this time, just please have my back on this be there for her and I please?" I said finishing the emotional speech I had been dying to say since I was offered that job two months ago. Cause I knew this wasn't going to be easy but I didn't know it was going to hurt so bad ether.