Why don't we group chat {complete}

Cuddles or crying

Norths pov
Jonahs said he was close and so I just stayed in bed drowning in pain and emotions. I was laying on my stomach, face in a pillow trying not to cry my cramps were so bad. (Me) I decided to brush my hair because it was probably in knots and I hate when it's like that. I got up grabbed my brush and sat in front of my mirror. I was looking in it and sighed. All my negative thoughts started coming to my head all at once... I  wasn't good enough for anything, Jonah especially... i don't know why he dates me...I'm fat like a cow...I'm like a whale. Tears slipped down my face as I completely blanked out looking off into the mirror not even realizing Jonah behind me. He sat behind me and put his arms around me and I jumped a bit not realizing he was there.

Jonah: hey beautiful *he knew I was judging myself*
Me: *sighs* hey
Jonah: you look beautiful to be in so much pain
Me: hah...did you bring me meds??
Jonah: no I forgot them *note sarcasm* yes duh *i laughed at him*
Me: give
Jonah: *he pulled out the box* take
Me: *I shook my head and slightly laughed at him* thanks
Jonah: your welcome....what do you wanna watch *he got up off the floor*
Me: idk grays? *i got up too*
Jonah: ok grays it is......I brought you twizzlars do you want them?
Me: uhh no not right now

Jonah looked at me concern flashing through his eyes...

Jonah: is everything ok baby girl?
Me: ya I'm fine just gotta wait till my stomach doesn't hurt as bad
Jonah: ok...I love you you know that right?
Me: *smile up at him* I do and I I've you too

We watch grays for a while and I snuggle closer into Jonah. I've been going thorough stuff that I haven't told Jonah...I think it would worry him too much. I don't wanna scare him away even tho he's witnessed it with me before, i told him it was a one time thing...it's not. I've been doing it since I can remember but especially that incident with my dad...that's when Jonah saw it and that's the only time he will...Hopefully.

He puts his arm around my waist and puts his hand on my thigh...night on my cuts from earlier. I whimper in pain and he notices and pauses the show.

Jonah: north what was that
Me: n-nothing just go back to the show
Jonah: north your a horrid lier just tell me
Me: Jonah theirs nothing to t-tell ok?
Jonah: then do you mind if I look at your leg?
Me: w-why
Jonah: because your hiding something from me and when I touched your leg you whimpered like a hurt puppy
Me: can we just..
Jonah: baby do you trust me?
Me: of course I do I just...
Jonah: then don't lie to me

He grabbed my shorts and pulled them off my thigh just enough to see the still red blade marks from earlier. I looked down, tears threatening to fall. Jonah looked up at me, tears in his eyes...he was shocked, he didn't think his happy bubbly girlfriend was capable of this. He wouldn't have ever imagined her doing this kind of thing....apart from that one time when she promised she would stop.

Jonah: baby?
Me: I'm sorry Jonah I'm sorry
Jonah: why? Who made you do this?? Was it me?!
Me: no...I don't know why I do it *was still looking down*
Jonah: let me see your arms
Me: o-ok

I had more on my arms and stomach. He gave me the saddest look I've ever seen him have and my heart broke a bit more.

Me: Jonah I'm sorry I'll stop for real this time I promise
Jonah: no north your going to get help this time not just from me from a professional...
Me: no I... *he cut me off*
Jonah: yes you are...I can't lose you baby I need you to me ok...this isn't ok...
Me: I know I'm sorry...please don't leave me

*his head snapped up when I said those 4 words*

Jonah: never never in my life will I leave you. I love you north you complete me.
North: I love you too
Jonah: but I wanna talk for a minute...when was the last time you ate something?
North:ummmmmmmmm....likethreedaysagomaybeidontknow
Jonah: ok come on
North: no where are we going
Jonah: downstairs so you will eat something
North: Jonah please tired
Jonah: nope

He dragged me downstairs (I'm at my old apartment and kay is back in Toronto btw) and into the kitchen. He told me to sit at the bar top and he went into the fridge. He pulled out spinach and strawberries...my favorite. He made me a salad and put it in front of me...

Jonah: you will eat if it's the last thing I make you do
North: ok *i took a bite and remembered how much I love food yet I still didn't want to eat*

I ate the whole salad with Jonah hovering over me.

Jonah: see was that so hard
Me: *nods* actually
Jonah: *sighs* well I'm glad you did it even if it was for me
Me: I'm sorry Jonah
Jonah: hey hey hey it's ok baby *he embraced me in a big hug* were gonna get through this together ok? *he wipes the tears off my cheeks*
Me: ok your the best you know
Jonah: I try...now lets go to bed I think you need some sleep too.
Me: ok

We went back upstairs and I put on one of Jonahs T-shirts and was just in that and underwear. I cuddled closer into Jonah and he wrapped his arm around me again. He was singing never be alone, my favorite Shawn Mendes song and I fell asleep with a smile on my face for the first time in a long time.

/:/:::::::///////:::
Cool hope you liked this one and I'm sorry if this kinda thing upsets you I'm trying to be vague while still mentioning it. Especially since I'm going through the same kinda thing that I'm writing about. Love you all thanks for the support.