You know what? I love you

Part 1

Gavins POV

I walk into form on a Friday morning with all the lads and sit down. As usual, Michael and I walk in holding hands, and when we sit down I rest my arm on his desk, still holding his hand, and he starts to rub my arm gently. I don't know why we're always touching in some way, but it's been this way for a while, and I love it. I mean sure we got some odd looks at first but people are pretty much used to it now. I sit in front of Michael, so I turn my body round towards him. Michael sits in the back right corner, next to Geoff who's next to Jack. I sit in front of Michael, next to Ray who's next to Ryan. This has been our arrangement all year. I sigh in content as Michael continues to stroke my arm and rest my head on my arm so I'm lying down, closing my eyes. The lads continue laughing and joking and talking about random shit and I just listen. I feel Michael write 'R U OK' on my arm with his finger and I smile, nodding slightly. This is his way of communicating with me without the lads hearing, as he was already stroking my arm they wont realise he's writing.

The bell goes and we all walk to our next classes, I have English with Michael and Geoff so we walk towards the English block. Michael and I walk holding hands as usual while Geoff walks to the right of me. Geoff is very much an over protective brother to me, he has been since my family moved here 4 years ago, when I was 13. I was a British kid that didn't know anything about America or American school, and Geoff helped me. He lives in the house opposite mine and we met the day I moved here. I met the rest of the lads the day after and immediately fell in love with them all, but Michael and I just clicked. When we get to our English room we sit down in our usual seats, back row, right corner, and wait for the teacher to start.

Around 5 minutes before the end of the lesson when we've finished our work, Michael is stroking my arm again while we talk to Geoff about video games. When we work we just press our legs against each other or sit so our arms are touching as we can't hold hands. I notice a girl that sits on the other side of the class is watching us and I sigh. 'U OK' Michael writes on my arm again and I turn to look at him and smile, nodding. The bell goes and we stand up to leave. We're one of the last ones out as we sit at the back and when the class is basically empty the girl that was staring walks towards us. I squeeze Michaels hand and he looks over at me, then to where I'm looking.
"Hi." The girl says and I think her name is Lindsay, she started a few weeks ago. I think she talks to Barbara.
"Hi." Michael says, smiling politely.
"I was just wondering, you don't have to answer if its too personal, Are you two dating?" She asks and I blush while Geoff laughs from next to me and I look up at Michael to see him grinning.
"N-No." I stutter and she raises an eyebrow.
"Oh, well you're cute together." She says before walking away and I blush harder. We haven't been asked that question in a while, but when we used to be asked Michael would be the one to say no. I wonder why he didn't say anything this time.
"Come on love birds, don't wanna be late for your next lesson." Geoff says, still chuckling and I glare at him while Michael pulls me out the room. I have History next while Michael has Geography so we have to let go of each others hand. I always hate classes without Michael, he's like my security blanket, and when he's not here I feel nervous and anxious and I have panic attacks more often. Michael squeezes my hand before letting go and I walk to history, meeting Ray at the door and walking in together. Ray grins when he sees me.
"Hey, Gav. How'd English go?" He asks and I shrug.
"I don't know. It was fine." I say and he frowns.
"What happened?" I shrug.
"The new girl, Lindsay, asked if Micool and I are dating and usually he says no but he didn't say anything so I had to talk to her." I say and Ray rolls his eyes.
"Dude, you have to talk to people sometimes." He says and I nod.
"I know, I'd just rather it not be about me and Micool." I say and he chuckles.
"Dude, remind me again why you aren't dating." He says and I blush again.
"Ray, he's my best friend."

"Your best friend that you are totally in love with." He says and I bite my lip.
"I don't think so Ray." I say and he looks at me seriously.
"Gav, think about it. You are always touching in some way, like you need the constant confirmation that he's there, and you call each other boi and you're always together and you basically live at each others house and the way you look at each other and don't think I don't realise that he writes on your arm when he doesn't want the entire group to hear what he's saying." He says and I think about it, he is my security blanket and I don't know what I'd do without him and he is the most amazing person I know and he's beautiful and his eyes are perfect and when he touches me I get tingles and "Oh." I say out loud. I love Michael Jones. I look at Ray with wide eyes and he chuckles again.
"Don't look so terrified Gav." He says and I shake my head.
"Ray how the fuck am I gonna tell him. Do I have to tell him. How am I gonna face him. What am I gonna do oh my god Ray I can't breath." I mutter and his eyes widen slightly.
"Oh shit, I'm sorry, are you having a panic attack?" He asks and I nod.
"Sir, Can I take Gav outside for a sec." Ray asks the teacher as I try to control my breathing. Mr Lewis looks at me before nodding. All the teachers know about my panic attacks and so they know to let me go outside if I need to.