On Edge

Chapter 3

Craig lay in his bed, staring up at his ceiling. He hadn't eaten since the morning of the day Tweek attempted suicide. He hadn't showered, and barely slept, except for couple hours throughout the day. Sleep was the only escape from the truth of what happened. Tweek had been taken from him, he was locked away in the psych ward, not being allowed any visitors except for immediate family members. And though Craig could have argued that being his significant other did apply to the "immediate family" rule, Craig hadn't even bothered to go back to the hospital. He couldn't bear the thought of seeing Tweek. He didn't want to see his boyfriend being held against his will, though it was for his own safety. He didn't want to see Tweek doped out on anti-depressants and sedatives, he only wanted to see Tweek the way he had been before everything had changed.

He wanted to see the blonde-haired boy and his beaming smile. His cheeks full of color, and his mind high on caffeine. He wanted his Tweek back; he didn't want this new Tweek. The Tweek that only a few days ago had jumped off a bridge into a freezing river.

Craig's thoughts were interrupted by a light knock on his bedroom door.

"Craig, sweetie, can I come in?" The voice of his mother asked.

Craig didn't answer, but his mother still entered his tiny bedroom and sat down on the edge of his bed.

"Craig, I'm worried about you, honey. You haven't gotten out of bed in days, and you haven't been eating. I understand that what happened must have been hard for you, and I'm here for you if you ever need to talk..."

Craig looked at his mother, his eyebrows furrowed. "I don't want to talk. I'm fine."

"Honey..."

"Mom! Just please leave me alone. I just need to deal with this on my own."

His mother frowned. "Mr. Tweak told me that Tweek is coming home today. He'll be attending an outpatient program, but you'll be able to go and visit him now that he's out of the hospital! I'm sure he'd love to see you. He really needs you right now."

"I'll visit him when I'm ready to."

"Craig-"

"Jesus Christ mom, can't you just leave me alone? Maybe I'm not ready to see him yet! And I know you're only worried about me because you think I'm going to do the exact same thing. You think that if you leave me alone for too long I'm going to go out and jump off a bridge too. Well guess what, mom, just because you're depressed doesn't mean you're suicidal. So, if you don't mind leaving me alone so I can rest, I'd appreciate that."

And his mom got up and left the room, without saying a word. But Craig didn't notice the tears that had formed in her eyes.

***

Tweek sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the wall in front of him. His father sat opposite of him, sitting on a chair and fumbling around with his watch. They sat in silence for what seemed like forever, until his dad finally cleared his throat to get his son's attention.

"Tweek, eventually, we're going to half to talk about what happened... and why it happened."

Tweek looked down at the cup of coffee in his hand, not wanting to make eye contact with his father.

"I-I know d-dad." He stuttered out as the caffeine began to take effect.

"Why, Tweek? Why did you do it? I could've lost you... And you're all I have left since your mother left us."

Tweek sighed. He wished he could explain to his father why he had done it. Why he had decided to take his own life, but he couldn't begin to justify his actions. There was no single event that had happened that made him want to jump. It was a combination of things. His parents' divorce, his stress from school, his grades suffering, and his depression just made him feel like he was drowning. All he wanted to do was escape his suffering, and throughout the entire walk to the bridge all he could think about was Craig. Craig was the only one in his mind that was stalling his suicide attempt, and Craig was the one he texted that night. He thought Craig would be the one that would show up and talk him out of it, which he tried to do, but all that Tweek could think about as he stood on the ledge of that bridge was his intention to jump. He had completely given up, and no matter how much he loved Craig and no matter how much the pain in his boyfriend's voice hurt him as he pleaded for him not to jump, Tweek couldn't forget about his suffering, and so he let go.