It Will Always be You (Sirius Black Fanfic)

Sirius: Serious Dilemma

The night after the fight...

"You know what that means right? No more of...this."

"Snogging?"

"Yes, we go back to fully normal. It's just, things are getting complicated and confusing. And I don't want another argument like we just had. And if stopping this is going to help that, then so be it."

She can't be serious. She couldn't be. Not from what all we've been through. She just wanted to stop all this? We, we were getting somewhere. Well I thought we were. I how could she do this to me? I....no. I wont let this happen. No, I have her, I'm not letting go. We can build from this, we can make things work. It's just a stupid fight. 

Tell her you want her, tell her no. Do it Sirius, fucking do it. 

"If that's what you want."

What? No, no you stupid mouth. That's not what I wanted. 

"It is."

She's lying.

"Well then, I'll say goodnight now. I'll see you in the morning."

I got up, turned and waved at her before I walked out of her room. I wasn't about to stay in the room and keep getting rejected. Plus I needed to leave before my mouth go me into more trouble. 

I walked into James's room without knocking. He was polishing his broomstick, listening to The Who's Tommy. Singing along to Pinball Wizard. He looked up at me, and furrowed his brow. Then went back to polishing his broom.

"What happened? I figured you'd be sleeping in her room, or at least, snogging my poor sister."

"How did you?"

"She told me."

"She what?"

"Don't get mad at her, I kinda made her tell me. It was pretty obvious that something like this was going on between you two. The way you acted towards each other last night during Truth or Dare. It was pretty intense. So I asked her what was going on, and she finally caved. It's okay that I know right? I mean, I am her brother after all."

"Yeah it's fine. It's even better now."

"Why's that?"

"Because we've decided to call everything off. Go back to just being friends, and have everything back to normal."

"And that's what you want?"

"No."

He jerked his head up.

"What?"

"You heard me Prongs. I said no."

"Then go tell her."

"Because she doesn't want this. I not going to force her to do something she doesn't want to do. I...."

"You what?"

"I. Love. Her."

His eyes widened, and mine did too. Did that really just come out of my mouth? It's one thing to admit it to myself, but to say it out loud? That just cements it. If only Remus could be here. He'd have the smuggest smile on his face, while holding out his hand waiting for the two galleons I'd owe him. 

"Tell her."

"What?"

Was he crazy? I wasn't going to do that. Not after she rejected me. Why would I? Do I want to be humiliated even more? No. Absolutely not. I will not do that to myself, nor make things between us even more awkward.