Extruendam Eam

Chapter 4

A/N: 

This chapter is NOT COMPLETE, it's only 2/3 the way done.

⁠—

Harry awoke to his own growling stomach, and groggily tried to find the time. Huh, he'd slept peacefully right through dinner. He thought it was probably just happenstance, but it was still a nice surprise that he'd been able to have a proper sleep.

Instantly, he felt guilty for thinking that; he knew he didn't deserve it, and avoiding his punishments was the worst thing he could do, considering all he'd done to deserve them in the first place. One of his punishments was never being able to sleep, and never sleeping peacefully if he did happen to.

Even though he felt guilty, another part of him wanted to sneakily continue avoiding everything, and maybe get some sleep. Somewhere, he was craving normalcy (whatever that may actually mean), and it made him want to just internally wipe the past and move on starting from the present.

Perhaps there was a way to get rid of the guilt without being a terrible person. Maybe if he talked to Ginny... it couldn't hurt to talk to one person, and it seemed that if anyone was to understand, it would be her.

Harry got up and ran a hand through his hair, trying to think of how to find Ginny. He quickly washed his face and got dressed, deciding that the common room was at least a place to start. As he headed toward the dormitory door, however, Neville walked into the room.

"Oh. Hey Harry."

"Hi Nev," Harry mumbled, keeping his eyes on the floor.

"How're you doing? You seem a little...off."

"I'm fine, thanks," he tried to brush past his roommate quickly, but Neville grabbed his arm to stop him.

"You know, if you ever need to talk, I'm here. Or if you need a quiet place to be alone, I found quite a few last year that I could show you?"

Harry's voice softened. Neville was so kind, and he was willing to share his secret hideouts. The ones he'd only found out of necessity during the horrible things he'd been through during Seventh Year. Harry thought to himself how selfish he was. As many ghosts (both literal and figurative) and horrid memories as this castle held for him, those who had been here through the last year ⁠— and especially Neville, who had stepped up and taken the brunt of many punishments ⁠— must have incomparably more. But of course, Harry knew he only ever thought about himself, only ever assumed he was the one who had it the worst.

"Thank you Neville. Really. I might take you up on that later."

The other boy looked surprised, but immediately tried to hide it.

"Of course, see you later then?"

"Sure." Harry started to leave, but quickly turned back. "Hey Nev, would you happen to know where Ginny is?"

"Oh, um I think I saw her in the common room playing Exploding Snap."

"Thanks." Harry left the room without looking back, therefore not noticing Neville looking slightly mystified, but much more optimistic.

He descended the stairs to discover that Ginny was indeed playing Exploding Snap, but with Dennis Creevey. It wasn't that he was afraid to face him (Harry knew he'd be nothing but kind, as he had been on the first day), but he was ashamed. Dennis made him feel all kinds of guilt, which was exactly what he was trying to avoid right now.

Taking a deep breath, he decided he could and would do this. He only had to quickly get Ginny and go somewhere where they'd be alone. He strode over and tapped her on the shoulder, avoiding looking at Dennis.