Landslide: Before (Book 1) (GirlxGirl / lesbian/ LGBTQ)

Chapter Six

I wrote this chapter to the song above so feel free to listen to it as you read

Summary: The one where Emery caves

SIX

I had spent a majority of the late afternoon avoiding the thoughts of Sawyer. I spent time with my family when everyone got home from work. We sat around the kitchen table and ate dinner while we chatted about our days. My mom was in good spirits now that my dad was home. They shared a sweet kiss when she walked through the front door and I was reminded of the woman she was. She may be hard on Charlie and us, but she was full of such love for my dad. They weren't perfect, but they had a love that had weathered twin girls and twenty-five years. Throughout dinner they smiled at each other across the table, so often it became sickening rather than sweet. On her own, my mother could be a force to be reckoned with, but with my dad around she was lighter and more kind. I preferred them together rather than apart, things were easier that way.

Dinner ended on a good note and I didn't want to stick around until it got worse. Which is how I ended up by myself in my room listening to music from last summer thinking about all the good times I had with Sawyer. The time I spent with my dad this afternoon was fun, but it made my heart ache.

I was laying on my bed with music flitting from the speaker sitting atop my desk. My phone was in my hand above my face as I scrolled idly through social media. Pictures of people having their last big adventure before school started flashed on my screen. Smiling faces looked back at me, none of them anyone I cared to see.

This time last year Sawyer and I were running around of the beach and hanging out on the boardwalk all day. Things were simply back then. I had no worries in the world. We were going strong and so in love, at least I thought we were.

Sawyer loved the beach almost as much as she loved soccer. If she wasn't playing in her summer soccer league she was with me at the beach. She was fierce on the field, but there was this childish glee about her whenever her feet sank into the hot sand. She always picked the spots close enough to the water that the sand was wet and she could build sandcastles better. But before she would even consider doing that, she wanted to play in the water. Sawyer would happily pull be toward the ocean giggling loudly as I protested - I didn't like the ocean that much. I would play along because it made her happy, and making her happy was all I cared about.

Every beach trip flipped through my mind, all the smiles, sand, and salty kisses. She was always playful and fun to be around, but somewhere along the line we lost that. It became more selfish and pleasure filled. No longer did we care about each other's happiness but rather our own. I was lost in my own whirlwind of self-destruction and I was more than willing to just let her use my body for whatever she wanted.

The memories I made with Sawyer are forever burned into my mind. She made me happy for so long, she made me strong, I couldn't just let that go. It wasn't that easy. No matter how much I wished for it to be, there was so much history there I wasn't sure if I wanted to let that go.

My phone began to vibrate in my hand startling me and dropping my phone directly onto my nose. I yelped in pain, my hands immediately flying up to rub the bridge of my nose. Tears appeared in the corner of my eyes from the impact and I wiped them away gingerly. The vibrating stopped, but the stinging on my nose continued. Sighing heavily, I peeked at the missed call notification on my screen. Sawyer's name sat silently staring at me. Before I could stop myself, I called her back and a wave a panic hit me when she picked up on the first ring.

"Emery...?" She said cautiously. The tightness in my chest loosened at the sound of her voice in my ear. She sounded small and sad like she was barely holding herself together. I had to stop myself from crying.