A Cinderella's Love (VVIP STORY at www.nobelista.com)

Thoughts

Jan's Point of View

I tried not to think about him. But I was too consumed by loneliness.

It's been two days since I chatted with him. When I told Lean I was in love with an invisible man. I wanted to smile wryly. I didn't know whats got into me to tell a lie. Maybe I was too afraid of what he was doing to me. Of those strange feelings that I have not felt for such a long time.

Once, I did. When I stupidly fell in love with my best friend. Stupid enough that I forgot I was not the woman he'd ever want. And it scarred me for more than 15 years. I did try to have a relationship but I guess I was not good enough for them. Or they were not good enough for me.

I stopped thinking about my personal life when I joined the publishing world. It was fun and glamour. Meeting famous writers in the country was one of the privileges of being into publishing. Most specifically three years ago when the film industry took an interest in making Filipino novels into movies. Great work from great artists. One of them is Alessa Ortiz whose works become the newest sensation in the market. Most of her works are best sellers. She's been awarded numerous times for her accomplishments. And she kept her profile low to the public. Ang mga book signing events ay bihirang bihira. She agreed once with a tv interview just recently. Kung gaano kadami ang mga bestsellers niya bilang sa daliri ang mga social engagement na dinadaluhan niya para sa mga parangal sa kanya.

Most of her fans, including myself, were always hyped to see her in person. Women live in her made-up heroine. And she was a living replica of her female characters. Beautiful, smart and rich.

And she is a rich man's daughter.

And I remembered one of the featured women in Times magazine who just became visible to the public when she married Governor Gin De Villa. Her existence was also hidden to the public until she became Mrs Gin De Villa last year. Alexandra Monteverde was featured right after her empire MGM owned a spot at top 50 business empire owned by a woman.

I sighed. Those women who are beautiful Cinderella who finds their own Prince Charming. Their wedding was not as big as their names. Pictures were released after a month. I was one of those women who wished to have that kind of wedding and the look of her husband that even the camera couldn't hide.

As if he was blessed with a woman like Alex Monteverde.

I smiled wryly. I remembered how Carmela giggled like a teenager and said dreamily she'd wished she will be Alex Monteverde in the next life and Governor Gin will be her husband.

I just laughed at her then.

But how ironic it was. Na mangyayari sa akin ito. And that I would wish I am Alessa Ortiz para magkaroon ako ng kumpiyansa na harapin si Lean.

I swallowed hard.

Me and my very low self-esteem.

And it's all because my first love rejected me.

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