Mama Knows Best ♡

Part 2

"If Daddy was here I wouldn't have to eat my vegetables," Amoura said while pouting. Cherish released a frustrated sigh. "Babygirl, please eat your carrots," she all but pleaded with her to. Amoura shoved the plate away from her. "No," she replied stubbornly, "I want Daddy!"

Without thinking Cherish slapped Amoura hard. "Eat your damn vegetables!" she barked. The silence that followed was unnerving. Amoura stared wide-eyed at her mother. A single tear fell from her hazel eyes, feeling ashamed Cherish fled from her daughter and found solitude in the bathroom. She took a deep breath and braced herself on the basin. She mustn't lose her cool like that again. Amoura was the innocent in all of this, she needed to remember that.

She splashed water from the tap unto her face. She needed to come up with a plausible excuse to stop Amoura from asking about her Daddy. She groaned and rolled her eyes. Forgetting L'Duka was the hardest thing she could ever do. Everything was a constant reminder. Every inch of the house reminded her of the man she currently hated. And having Amoura repeatedly asking about him wasn't helping her any. She still cried herself to sleep at nights and her whole body and soul ached for him.

If only she could just understand why. Why he had seen the need to leave her and Amoura-then perhaps that would have numbed her aching heart a little. But the only thing she was left with were a hundred unanswered questions, empty promises, a shattered heart and a four year old who asked nonstop about her father. She wondered how long it would take before the aching stopped.

A knock on the bathroom door interrupted her train of thoughts. Releasing a big huff Cherish opened the door. It killed her to see how much Amoura resembled the man she was trying so hard to forget. However, she forced herself to remember that the little girl standing in front of her was very much also her flesh and blood.

"I'm sorry, mommy," Amoura said sincerely, "I finished my veggies like you wanted me to." Cherish's heart caught in her throat and she quickly swallowed the lump in her throat. She knelt in front of her adorably sweet daughter. "Mommy's also very sorry sweetheart," she managed to croak out. She planted a kiss on her daughter's forehead and wrapped her up in a tight hug.

Silence ensued both of them until Amoura pulled back a little to ask another dreaded question, "Mommy is Daddy coming back? I miss him."

Cherish felt like a fool bawling in front of her four year old but it was as if she couldn't control her tears. Her heart felt like it was ripping into a million pieces. The betrayal, the hurt, the anger.. It was all so tiring. She wished her baby girl didn't have to go through this with her.

She cleared her throat, her mind seemed to go blank all of a sudden. She forced her mouth to open up and say something. Taking a deep breath Cherish gushed out, "I miss him too Ami, but I don't think he's coming back." She refused to fill up her little girl's heart with lies and empty promises. She deserved better.

"Why? Did I do something wrong mommy?" It was as if those words turned on the facet in Cherish's eyes, the tears came harder and faster. Cherish shook her head ferociously. "No, baby. You are exactly what I prayed for. You are wonderful. Daddy still loves you. Something came up and well, he had to leave. But I'll always be by your side. I promise."

She had fully expected her four year old to be bratty and to storm away sulking but what she did next completely baffled Cherish. Her little girl looped her arms around her neck and vowed,"Me, too, mommy."

They pinky-sweared and Cherish scooped her daughter up in her hands. She showered her with kisses, "I love you with all of my heart." Amoura giggled and tried to shield her face from her mother's many kisses, "Love you too, mommy."

Cherish smiled a sad smile. "Ice cream and Barbie?"she suggested.
Amoura's face broke out in a big smile. "Yassss!"she enthused.
Cherish chuckled, glad to have found a good distraction for her daughter.

**********

How very silly of her to think that her mother would have kind and compassionate words ready for her after she completed her heartbreaking story.

Cherish's mother laughed scornfully in her face. "Child, I knew that man wasn't going to stick around for too long." Her mother puffed on a cigarette and waved it around. She released another hearty laugh. "I mean darling, would you even blame the man for leaving? C'mon look at you. You're worthless. He was a damn idiot for staying so long in the first place. But," she drawled out waving her cigarette around, "Kudos to you for keeping him hooked for what? 3 years, 4 years?" Her mom cackled like an old hen. Thoroughly enjoying this. "Shit," her mother continued,"Why settle for a 3 when you can get a 10, right?"

Cherish dashed angry tears away. Served her right for coming to her mom with her plight. She knew better than to expect comfort from her mom. Caring was never apart of her mother's vocabulary. At least not for her. She felt stupid and used all over again. She really didn't blame her mother for turning her dilemma into a joke. She felt like a joke. Dummy should be her name from now on.

"Mama, please," she begged.

Her mother turned up a perfectly scuptled nose at her. "Darling save those tears for my funeral. Anyways, I'm expecting Willam in about five minutes. Leave, please,"her mother told her in a cold, calculating tone.

Shocked, Cherish froze in place. What?

Annoyed her mother took a long draw from the cigarette and almost barked,"Girl, take your child and leave. You know he hates it when you're here."

Confused, Cherish collected a sleeping Amoura and they both poured into her car. She was glad that her daughter was sleeping when they left, it was one thing to be unkind to her, but to be mean to her granddaughter as well was pushing it.

Deep in her thoughts, Cherish remembered the last time they had visited her mom so many months ago. Whenever Cherish went to spend time with her it had always been the same- short, awkward and they all ended one way- with Cherish bawling her eyes out. Anyway on this one particular day, Cherish made Amoura tell her mother bye. Per usual, her mom ignored the little girl and sat smoking her life away. Cherish could tell that Amoura was hurt by it. On the way home, Amoura had asked,"Why is Gram-ma so mean?" At this the tears had pooled up in Cherish's eyes. She tried to come up with an answer that would make her mother seem less of the demon she really was. "Gram-ma has had a really rough life, Ami," she explained slowly,"so she's mean but she really doesn't want to be."

Looking for a distraction from her past, Cherish turned on the radio. Humming the latest Nicki Minaj song, she started on the long journey home.

Was she surprised by her mother's reaction? Not one bit. Her mother was very vocal when it came to highlighting Cherish's weaknesses and failures in life. Her mother had said on one too many occasions that L'Duka was way out of her league. Precious guessed her mother had been right all along. Vaguely, she remembered a quote, it went something along the lines of, in the end mother's are always right; no one else tells the truth. What a cruel irony that it applied to her life.

Why else would L'Duka just up and leave like that?
Why did he build her up if his only intention was to just diminish her in the end? Was it because he finally realised that Cherish wasn't good enough for him? That..that he could do way better than her?

A new sea of tears washed themselves down Cherish's cheeks. She was such a mess for crying all the time. But how could she remain strong when L'Duka had been her strength?

Glancing at the sleeping toddler Cherish suddenly found a new strength. Her babygirl.
She felt foolish for putting her all and giving her everything to one man.

She vowed to never be so naive again.