Chapter 2: Why Don't I Have Any Friends?
Jewbrick and his underage hostage sat in silence for a little while, save for the CupcakKe mixtape playing from the speakers.
"Sooooo..." Werecat introduced awkwardly. "Who is this "lost love!!1!" anyway?" "His name is Anthony Burger, and he's mai waifu! He has this flowing white hair, and these dreamy eyes-" "Glazzies." Werecat corrected, because she's a fucking nerd. "and these soft manboobs.." "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST NO I DON'T NEED TO BE PICTURING HIM NAKED"
"Nekkid..." Stanley replied, his eyes rolling back into his head, and drool starting to drizzle from his mouth.
"NI🅱🅱A WE BOUT TO CRASH!" Imawerecat creeched, snapping him out've his ho trace just in time to swerve away, narrowly missing the World Trade Center 2.0.
"Whoo! That was close!" Jewbrick laughed casually, while Werecat, on the other rooker, was dug into the upholstery with her nails and even paler than her Irish ass usually is.
" I'm hungry. You wanna stop someplace to eat?" Jewbrick offered. "Anything that gets you to stop the car."
So, he started looking for somewhere, finally bringing the car down at a KFC. A waitress rolled up to their car. "HI, WELCOME TO KENTUCKY FRIED CUNTS, HOME OF THE FINEST PANTIES IN NORTH KOREA! I'M BILLY MAYS, AND I'LL BE SERVING YOU. WHAT YOU BITCHES WANT?"
"I'll have the spicy G-string 6 pack, please." "WOULD THAT BE CRISPY OR EXTRA CRISPY?" "Extra." Answered Jewbrick, who already had diabetes and this point go big or go home, right?
"GOT IT! AND FOR YOU?" "Uh... I'll have that uh.... boneless tanga box." "OK! I'LL HAVE THAT OUT IN JUST A MINUTE! OH! BY THE WAY, WE'RE HAVING A SPECIAL THIS MONTH, TO CELEBRATE SUPREME LEADER'S REMISSION FROM BREAST CANCER! BUY TWO MEALS, AND GET A SET OF THIGH-HIGHS FREE. WOULD YOU LIKE?" The anxious teen and unstable director looked at each.
"One for each of us" He said with a shrug. He leaned out the window towards the waitress. "Yes please." "ALRIGHTY THEN. DIPPING SAUCE?" "The Rick and Morty one." Said Jewbrick. "Ranch." Imawerecat said.
YOU ARE READING
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Fanfiction98% of this shit is written while I'm sleep deprived and/or incredibly bored. The remaining 2% is purposefully awful. Have fun trying to distinguish them!
