y/n was walking along through Gravity Falls, taking in the, well, strange sights of the place. Suddenly, she came across an old guy! "WELL HOWDYRFJRFGJNJGN!!1!!11!" "Hello", you said, tracing over his thin, crooked body with your eyes. 'Damn' you thought. 'dat a nice a$$' "MY NAME IS OLD MAN MCGUCKET!1!!!!" "I'm Ju-y/n" you reply thirstayly. You lean over him, smirking. "H-hey. I have a wife!" "Can that racoon do this?" you ask, gesturing to your body. "Well... WAIT HOW'D YOU KNOW SHE WAS A RACOON?" "I hath telekinisis." You say, sitting on him.
"WTF GIT OFFA ME" "NEVAH!" you reply yanderely. You kiss him, savoring the musty, fried chicken-y-ness of his lips. He vomits into your mouth. Suddenly a midget comes by. "WHAT THE HELL?! THATS CREEPY!" You had planned on swallowing the vomit, but instead re-regurgitate it on him instead. He screams and runs away. You go back to your business, recalling something you read about people falling in love by being forced to look into each other's eye for very long. "STARING CONTEST!" You yell. "ok!" He replies, even though you just tried to rape him. After 3 minutes of awkward unblinkingness, the police come and take you away, and you're sentanced to death for all those child murders you commited.
THE END
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Fanfic98% of this shit is written while I'm sleep deprived and/or incredibly bored. The remaining 2% is purposefully awful. Have fun trying to distinguish them!
