Soo Random

Well...

So this is not like a nonsense stuffs or joking stuffs or anything but this is like a serious talk, So what happen is last night we have a lot of laughing due to Sei's Fail sessions and I really wanna share those fails so bad and I wanna see everyone laugh but this take into a table turn, As one of our member got offended with the fails and I'm not going to tell who it is because I might offend her and It could get worse.

It seems Fails had gotten too far and offended someone, Made me feel guilt she explained to me privately about the situation to the fact that she's sensitive just like me, I know it's a long story but I understand everything, To the fact that I am homeschool because I got sick of Schooling not about studying but bullying

I'm sick of hearing other students compare me to my brother that he's a Prince, He's perfect and I was his Useless Little Sister and a Slave. They often bully me using my main weakness which is loud noises. I'm very sensitive to Loud noises to the fact that my ears have a very sharp hearing so loud noises can make me freak out very easily even from clapping very loud that it was almost like a popping noise. They would often use any plastic or balloons or any bottles that could release any explosion noises and they would go like BOOM that could trigger me and I even can't control my temper (Which Riley also had that situation that she can't control her temper that she would easily freak out or overeacted). So what would happen Is I would scream at them and I want to fight them and gone crazy but they would run very fast while laughing at me and I'm very bad at running so In the end that I can't chase them, I'll will end up crying like a little kid at the same time. As the teacher or Guidance talk about this, It would be my fault and they really don't understand the struggles I'm having.

And because of that it affected my focus on studying so every exams I would Fail and I'm very scared to show it to my parents because if they once see it, I will get busted and punish me, As I look up into them, they don't understand the pain I'm feeling deep down in my heart, My family is very poor and they can't afford any school tuitions especially that my brother is already going to college that's very important than my studies and my tuition fees, I promised them to work harder but I broke that promise due to my sensitivity and I'm scared to face my fears. That leads to me giving up at everything and decided to go homeschool.
So I would randomly cry in front of my friends who trusted me because I'm still happy that there's still someone who accepted my problems even I have a situation like this, No words to say.

I know there's still a chance and I will move forward and continue what I had left from 2 years ago so Starting from June Next year I'll be going back to school and maybe I would have a hunch to have a better future

As for today I learned my lesson not to take thinks too far. Think before you share