The world inside me
Is not what it seems
Broken cities and shattered hearts lay within me the world within me is dark and full of sin but I can see it has to be you love that I've been dreaming of
You are the water in my lungs I'm staring at the edge there's nowhere to go so I give into my fire burning inside ....I just don't wanna be alive. Why did i try so hard to only be let down ...why do I do this over and over again. It's a repeated cycle of love and hate. Of life and death and I just I'm. So tired
Everyone think I'm so strong and I'm getting better but I'm not I'm not who everyone think I am....but the scary part is I don't know who I am.im lost inside a world or darkness and sin and burning cities... And there is no escaping it. When will this end. But then you come in like a Superman and save the day...every single time...you're always there for me and I'm just so INLOVE with you you're just do amazing and perfect and I just I don't understand how you make my heart beat so fast when I don't want it to beat at all ... Or maybe I do...because that means I get to spend more time on this pity shit filled earth with the only thing that makes it worth living for. Maybe death isn't the awnser..maybe it's life....maybe it's you.You are my choice..now tomorrow the next day and the next day ...it's always gonna be you .you are my forever you are my everything my baby my daddy and I can't and I never will let anything change that I love you...I'm getting bad again Ive been really depressed latley...and suicidal thoughts are slipping back..but I'm not sad because of you ..you make me the happiest person in the world youre so perfect and I love you so fucking much .. I'm happy with my life ..I love Grammy I love Jabo and how they've helped me so much... I honestly don't know why I'm depressed I don't know why I'm suicidal...
I just am
I try to tell myself I'm okay.. I have the world in my hands I'm 16 I'm almost done with high school I'm going to college I'm in a happy home I'm in love with the most amazing person in the world ..my life is perfect.... But I'm not.
I'm not okay....
And I don't know why.
I just wanna cut I wanna die I want to get so high I don't remember... I want it to go away..but there is only one way... And I cant hurt you like that..I love you so much ... I'm trying to stay strong..but I'm so tired of feeling like this ...I've been hurting for so long and I want it to be over...I know when you read this you'll be sad ...but please don't be sad.. I love you..I'll always love you ..I've always loved you. I love you forever and always ..even if I'm not here..the life may leave my lungs but my heart will stay with you... You have all of me and you always will. I love you.i live for you because even heaven would be hell without you
With your kiss your touch....even in the afterlife I can't live without you .
