Out in the Cold

I'm in the probe Houston.

Roger that Mike. Go for burn.

Go for burn Houston.

Burn in three, two, one...

Burning. Burn complete.

There are people cheering down here Mike. You're on your way to man's first encounter with intelligent life outside the earth.

Well...physical encounter.

What's that Mike?

I mean, our first physical encounter Houston. You've been Skyping this alien for months.

Not that again Mike. Seriously? You still feel left out don't you. You're still annoyed.

Annoyed? I'm not annoyed.

Yes you are Mike, I can hear it in your voice.

There was more than one Skype call, that's all I'm saying. You never said 'Mike, come over, wave to an alien'. Not once. I suppose—

—You suppose what? Mike, you need to talk to us here on the ground. We don't know what's happening unless you talk to us.

You know what's happening Houston. You know more than I do -- as usual.

What does that mean Mike? As usual?

Nothing.

Okay, here's the deal. Again. The Director of NASA gave Zoltar his Skype address and they started chatting. Media got ahold and it became a thing. I was invited—

—I'm sure you were.

—I was invited, as was the President, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, blah blah. You can't get that many people round a web cam Mike.

If you say so.

We've been over and over this. You're the guy, the man, the number one. What's a Skype call compared to that? Mike. Mike buddy?

I suppose.

But?

But what?

There's a but in there. I can hear it.

I just wanted to be included, you know? Forget it.

Will you focus on the mission Mike? You have to land in fifty-one seconds. Can you see the Mare Zoltarium?

The place named after your Skype pal?

He's other people's pal too, Mike.

Except me though Houston? The guy, the man, the one who's actually been sent to talk to him? I'm just the taxi driver in this relationship aren't I. Hmm?

You aren't the taxi driver Mike, you are the man we chose for this mission. Actually, I think Zoltar was too intimidated to talk to you.

Really?

Yes. We said hey, Zoltar, would you like to chat to Mike and he's like, no, I couldn't, I wouldn't know what to say.

Really?

Yes, really.

Wow.

So, can you concentrate on the mission Mike? Can you see Mare Zoltarium?

Maybe. It's flat over there.

Okay, get a bit lower.

What the hell do you think I'm doing? I have landed things before. Getting lower is a big part of landing things, Houston.