Flies

Shame

An uncaring bitterness seeped through the walls, very same that contained the dormant body of a fragile young woman, eyes closed. Now open. her veins filled and skin frosted with goose bumps; the last remnants of slumber gnawing at her as her pupils dilated in the harsh light of day. Winter had finally descended - and it was certainly time for toast.

"...So I'll probably be there for like 2 O'clock, and please let me know if you get this. You haven't been yourself recently, let me know if there's something going on dude. Okay, bye... And I'm not kidding Blake, start replying to my bloody voice mails!" 

She slipped off her robe and into the burning tears of the shower stream, too hot for the delicate skin of a 19 year old girl. Hannah's life had been no less customary than the predictability of her own daily routine. Mundane from the fragility of the infant to the naivety of adulthood; shackled to the security of the foreseeable. Where one may praise and deem such a life secure, another may cast a harsher shadow of judgement, and reveal it for what it really is... And what it is, is a great, great, shame.

...

  "Oh. Hannah... I didn't know you were coming today..." Elliot peered at her from behind the door: concern aging in his face as Hannah explained that she'd called earlier that same Saturday. The breath of winter sunk its teeth into her skin giving her whole body a flesh creep, won't he just let me in already?  "Okay, my sister's in the kitchen but she's... I don't think she's feeling well."

"Okay, thanks," The door closed behind them in the breeze. She'd wandered through this house for many years, her feet numbed every time by the stone cold floors with each step, of which there must have been thousands. These walls had always been the same comforting sepia, millions of monochrome memories within them; familiar hall, familiar lounge, familiar kitchen - Where Blake had collapsed herself into a small, wooden chair.

"Hey, d'you get my voice mail? apparently El didn't know I was coming today, he says you're sick or something," Hannah interrogated. But she struggled to lock her eyes with the girl in the chair, Blake's gaze seemed to be fixated on something ahead, which happened to be nothing but the air thick with dust. "...You could've said you weren't well enough if that's why you've not been answering my calls, y'know," But distant ears followed distant eyes; a scowl draped over Blake's usual half crooked smile, and you'd never have known who she was before. Hannah turned to pour a stained glass of grey water from the tap, awaiting Blake's delayed response. Her skin was nearing transparent and her eyes just about glazing, if it hadn't been for the life of color in her hair, a blood red, it'd be hard to tell whether there was life in her at all - the mold on the wall grimaced at her stasis. Silent, still. Hannah had never seen her like this before. "What's with you?" She questioned. " You're usually being a sarcastic idiot by now and now you're, what, you're just-

"I need to tell you something," Blake's head snapped round to face Hannah's, her head barely balancing on her wire thin neck. Eyelids heavy over all 4 eyes, they stared at each other, sharing a common anxiety.  She leeched Hannah's aggravation and substituted concern, Hannah listened intently for what would follow, "You might not believe me, and you don't have to but..."

"...What is it? You know you can tell me anything, I'll believe you, dude, why would you lie?"

"Promise that you'll believe me,"

Hannah's solicitude and distress peaked, this wasn't like Blake, what's with you? She pondered whether to agree or not, the possibilities of what she could spout in the next few minutes were endless, and she was supposed to just take Blake's word? However, should she not agree, she may never find out, and Hannah cared deeply enough for Blake to find out what was going on, that and her curiosity was not yet satisfied.

"Uh, yeah, yeah of course I promise," 

There was a thick pause before Blake began to whisper,"Okay...I think..." 

"..?"

"I think there's something in the-"

The kitchen door swung its mouth open wide, and Elliot leaned in it's frame. He seemed out of breath, as if he's rushed to intentionally inconvenience the conversation.  Both girls broke gaze to meet his and detected the concern in his voice as he asked to speak with Blake in private - something he'd never done, Hannah had always been like part of the family since her parents died, there were no secrets. Despite the disturbance so turbulent in the room, Blake rose from her trance and from her seat to leave the room; the door swallowed them and left Hannah alone for a few minutes. 

Hannah felt an itch of both anger and unworthiness inflame, she threw her ears the door to steal whatever secret she had been excluded from but could only scavenge fragments. '...you need to stop, Blake...nothing out there...scaring people...'   What?  Hannah's heart rolled in anticipation of what sounded serious; Blake was witty and controlled, to hear her whimpering, a quiet sobbing was something of a hoax. What the hell is going on?  Their voices morphed into footsteps, growing nearer as Hannah backed away from the door. It opened.

"What's going on? Is everything ok? Did i-"

"She's just not feeling well...sorry. I wouldn't want you to catch it though Han, i mean it's pretty bad,"

"Yeah yeah, no of course... I'll come over in a few days to check up I guess. Call me, Blake," Blake caught Hannah's gaze, her face harboring a look of subtle trepidation and eyes sending a message in  dirt brown code; of which Hannah couldn't decipher.

The coldness hit her once again like the icy hinges of hell's gate, with this time a kiss of unease on her glass skin. Her mind wandered down the path with her, about what Blake had been trying to tell her, what Elliot didn't want her to say. "i think there's something..." what, what could it have been? Or couldn't have been, perhaps, Elliot did say there was " nothing out there"... Out  in the garden? Outside the room? Outside her house, maybe - maybe roaming around the streets. Like streets I'm walking right now... But who? Or perhaps... But what?

Whatever, or whomever, Blake saw out there, wherever 'there' may be, Elliot said she would be "scaring people" if she brought it up. Maybe I shouldn't even ask, once I know I might wish I didn't so that I wouldn't have to worry about Blake. Besides, they must have kept it from me for a reason; surely. But then again, Blake tried to tell me at first, she wanted me to know... I shouldn't ask, Elliot knows and he thinks it's best I don't find out.It would be rude if I tried to find out when he was trying to hard to make sure I didn't... But i will anyway.

The winter sighed once more and the girl in the door way was swallowed.