Still Alive

Quiet Nights

Sometimes, on quiet nights like these, I remember my old life. Not too well, but I can still recall some parts of my childhood. It's almost ironic remembering how much I hated everyday things, that I now found myself missing. Friends, school, the sound of cars, children, my sister. My eyes began to get heavy. I closed them and drifted off into deep sleep.

We pulled up to my school. a few kids stood outside of the tall, red brick building. it wasn't too late, but it was late enough for me to notice that there weren't many people showing up anymore. I could only assume they were sick with the virus or afraid of getting sick. I gave my mom the "please don't make me go," look.

"Melody, you and I both know that you can't miss school." I rolled my eyes,  "Besides, you'll be fine. This virus will pass, your classmates will come back," she paused grabbing my face in her hands, "Jenny and dad will get better, and life will go on," She patted my cheek and handed me my lunch as I stepped out of the car.

"I love you, mom." she blew me a kiss and drove off.

The mountains were a beautiful blue in front of the school. The cloudy sky parted just enough to make sunlight pour in through from the heavens. A cool breeze blew right through me, sending a shiver down my spine. A light tap on my shoulder made me turn to a tall, long-haired boy.

"Hey," I smiled. Axel and I had been good friends since we were kids. We grew up two doors down from one another until recently.

"Hi," He shoved his hands in his pockets. We walked together throughout the school, talking about random things, untill the bell rang for our first period. "Have fun," he nudged me sarcastically.

"Yeah, for sure," I chuckled back.

light seeped in through some of the thinner blankets that we put up a few days ago, waking me from lovely dreams of a time where we didn't all live in constant fear and PTSD. Fox was trying to get a fire going, and Pierce was sharpening a large spear into the ash pit. Axel must be asleep. He was up later than I was, taking the last watch. The room we had decided was the room we would all sleep in was on the top floor. We all agreed that the dead and any other threats would have a harder time getting up here. I rubbed my eyes and twisted my long box braids into a ponytail.

"Morning," Fox grunted, striking the steel another time. "hah, got it," she muttered before bending down to blow on the spark. There was a small fireplace on the back of the wall. Pierce glanced up and smiled for a second, then returning his focus toward the spear.

"I was thinking we could start to fortify this place a little better," He held up his spear, "we could make a bunch of these to use as a sort of barrier from the dead. We could also get more of these," he returned to sharpen it but continued. "We could make it downstairs on the first floor and have a look out on the second,"

Fox smirked,"I like it." I glanced at the two of them smiling at each other. What they had was pretty special, I wish my sister and I could've had that. Suddenly, my attention was brought to my crotch. It was wet.

"Fuck," I had realized it had already been over a month since my last period, but now? really??

"Earth to Mel," Pierce snapped his fingers in my face a few times before I shot him a glare. "Do you think we could stay here?" he asked, ignoring my glare completely. 

"Most likely, if Jack and Morbis come back safe,"  I drew squares in the dusty, wooden floor. We had been staying in a studio apartment building in the suburbs. The city had been evacuated just before the total outbreak, so we had decided that it would be the best, safest bet. But with each day, we saw more of the dead wondering through...

"Are you okay?" Fox successfully started a fire and had begun to cook breakfast. She studied my face, looking for an answer in my eyes.

"I'm great," Neither Fox nor Pierce seemed too pleased with my sarcasm. "Sorry, I'm as good as I can be," I paused,  and decided to start a new conversation after a moment or two of uncomfortable silence. "I've forgotten what I was, the person I used to be, feels as dead as...well, you know," Pierce nodded.

"To be frank, I think we all feel like that." Axel's voice made us jump.

"Oh, morning," I chuckled. He smiled back at me. I stood up and grabbed my leather weightlifting gloves, and my sword. It didn't seem as heavy anymore, and I had been getting faster with it too.

"Where are you going?" Axel began helping Fox with breakfast. "Meh, leave me alone..." was what I wanted to say.

"Out." I chose instead

"Out?" Pierce chimed in.

"just, out." The anxiety was getting to me, I continued rocking back on my heels.

"Well, if you wait a bit, I'll go with," Axel suggested. "Plus, breakfast will be done, and you can eat," My stomach liked this suggestion. I really was hungry.

"fine," I gave in, placing my sword on the ground next to my cot and joined the others.